Don't Tread on Mill

This is a perfect example of why you should always pay attention when you're workin' out. Heck-fire...I'm gonna use a couple of these moves next time I get me to a gym. True story.

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Tea Totality

Sounding Bored

While I am truly enjoying the width and breadth of the 2010 Winter Olympics, I am having a very hard time stomaching skeevy Bob Costas. The dude tries way too hard to be cool and funny. Just like me, ‘Ceptin’ he’s rich and famous and I live in a basement. But aside from that…

So I reached back into my bag of tricks and I came up with an awesome solution. Do any of y’all remember the Pink Floyd/Wizard of Oz game? That’s where you start the album Dark Side of the MoonWizard of Oz disappears. exactly as the last of the opening credits of the It is almost otherworldly how the lyrics and the music link up with the visuals. Y’all oughtta try it sometime. So I started experimenting with NBC’s Olympic coverage and several different bands. Five Finger Death Punch to go along with halfpipe. Lynyrd Skynyrd to go with downhill skiing. Rush to go with Luge. You get the point. I’ve had a lot of happy accidents over the last few days (no, not the “I pottied in the big boy’s potty.” happy accidents). Sometimes the music and the video is so spot on, you’d think they were made for each other.

I’m tellin’ ya…y’all should try it. Pick your event, pick your band and enjoy. After all, whadda you have to lose but precious time with skeevy Bob Costas?

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Tard Again

Let me get this straight…

A couple of weeks ago, Sarah Palin vilified Rahm Emanuel for calling a group of Democrats a “bunch of fucking retards.” IMHO, that was quite the apt description. The comment was made behind closed doors. Caribou Barbie said that use of the “R” word was such a heinous insult that Emanuel should be fired.

The day after Rahm’s …wordiness, Rush Limbaugh used the same exact word more than a dozen times, on the airwaves, where millions of people could hear. Sister Sarah, not daring to cross the head of the Republican Party, Inc., said of the radio host. “When Rush uses the word, it’s parody…it’s satire.” I call it a double standard. I call it hypocrisy. But I’ll go with the VPILF’s version. Parody and satire. Cool.

Flash forward to last Sunday’s episode of Family Guy. FULL DISCLOSURE: Every time you watch Family Guy, we here at PTB make one MILLION dollars!). On that night’s episode, Chris goes out with a girl who had Down’s Syndrome. When he asked her what her parents did for a living she replied, “My dad is an architect and my mom is the former Governor of Alaska.” And ya know what Caribou Barbie and her knocked-up-out-of-wedlock daughter did? You got it right…they vilified the writers of Family Guy! Aye caramba!

The crux of the biscuit is simple…If Sarah Palin is cool with Rush Limbaugh using the “R” word because it’s “parody and satire” then she should wake the fuck up and understand that Family Guy is an animated comedy series that specializes in PARODY AND SATIRE! Do you folks realize that she was almost the Vice President of the United States of America, Inc? Y’all have no idea how big a bullet we dodged. True story.

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Fly By White

Except for the two hours of Nevada’s basketball game last night, I’m lovin’ me some Winter Olympics. Yup, that Shaun White surely tore up the half pipe. That dude can flat-out fly! So in honor of monsieur White’s accomplishments and knowing he hates the nickname “Flying Tomato,” PTB is gonna drop a couple of new ones – “White Out” or “The Red Baron.” All yours bro! Congrats.

As you may have noticed, the 775 has quite a few athletes in these games. Yesterday, one of our girls, Julia Mancuso, got a silver in the women’s downhill. WAY TO GO JULES! So I’m watchin’ her run last night with a barley pop and out of the announcer’s pie hole came, “It’s a tough course out there but Mancuso likes it rough and bumpy.” Insert one beer-filled spit-take and high comedy reigned supreme.

Has anyone else noticed the Olympic promo starring Rascal Flats? The country (AND western) trio are belting out one of their tunes to video of Johnny Weir bein’ flamboyantly gay and a bunch of hockey dudes hugging each other. The dichotomy of the music and the video is a classic example of unintentional comedy in its highest form.

And lastly…all over this Olympic coverage I hear announcers talk about the many cool and awesome things that belong to Canada. Mounties… Molson…and Wayne Gretzky to name three. But in all the coverage I’ve watched, not once has an announcer mentioned Geddy Lee, Alex Lifeson or Neil Peart, collectively known as Rush. Longtime readers of PTB know we’re big Rush fans and it’s disappointing not to hear any mention of one of the greatest rock bands ever …who also happen to be from CANADA! I wonder if skeevy Bob Costas or any of the other myriad announcers and production crew even know what they’re missing? They might not…but I do.

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Toonces

I guess if you have to get old...you might as well do it in style. Heck-fire, when I'm 90 years old, they'll be feedin' me through a tube. No worries...it's just beer.

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BTW...notice how these two really play the crowd. Something modern performers might want to emulate.

Winter Olympic Wonderings

The IOC not letting women in the ski jumping competition is a misogynistic, bass-ackward, fucked up position to take. Hey Jaques Rogge, y’all afraid to get your ass handed to you by a girl? Change the damned rule already and "LET THEM PLAY...LET THEM PLAY..."

Just ‘cause I only get to say this every four years…Dick Pound… Dick Pound… Dick Pound. HAW! That NEVER gets old.

So, U.S. skier Lindsey Vonn bruised up her shin and to help with the healing she…wait for it….wait for it…she wrapped it with cheese. Aye caramba! What kind of medical staff do we have for our Olympic team? Dr. Pepper?

The unintentional comedy meter was getting quite a workout during the opening ceremonies. From skeevy Bob Costas trying WAY too hard to be funny (he wasn’t) to the fiddle playin’, river dancin’ Frenchies (isn’t river dancin’ Irish?) the whole night was a hoot. Funniest moment though, was when the Great One had to stand there while they figured out how to fix a technical malfunction. Poor brotherhubbard was sweatin’ like a hound dog tryin’ to poop a peach pit. High comedy indeed. I guess the only thing better than a prop malfunction woulda been a wardrobe malfunction. I’d have paid to see that. True story.

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