And finally, closer to home. The U.S. Census Bureau just released a report on how Nevada spent money during the time before the recession (can anyone remember back that far?). It said that when the Silver State was flush with cash, they didn’t save it, they spent it. They didn’t spend it on the poor…or on education…or the sick…or the elderly. Nope. When Nevada had lots of tax money they spent it on...more cops. Aye caramba! That’s the Nevada spirit. It’s what we’ve always needed…more jackbooted, fascist thugs patrolling our roads and parks and buildings looking for shopkeepers selling alcohol to elderly looking 20-year-old decoys and bustin' burners for smokin' the sticky-icky. What a waste.
I never understood the hypocrisy of the U.S. military when it comes to my gay brothers and sisters serving in the armed forces. After all, it is one of the highest callings for someone to volunteer to protect the good ol’ USo’A. But critics, puritans, religious zealots, homophobes and tinfoil hat wearin’ looney tunes still think gays shouldn’t be able to serve. And “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is as big a fucked up mess as you can imagine. But now, there’s hope.
FULL DISCLOSURE: I don’t have any babies…never raised kids and unless they come out with a newer model that subsists solely on Keystone Light, frozen burritos and corn nuts, I never will. That being said…
Since when did sixteen become “too young?” If Jessica was a boy, would there be all this fuss? I say, if Jessica wants to circumnavigate the globe alone…and her parents say its O.K….then so be it. It’s nice to see a teenager nowadays with goals and aspirations and dreams. Besides…it sure beats her sitting in her room dinking around on Facebook or, even worse, listening to the Jonas Brothers. YIKES!
A lot of people gave Paul McCartney shit for forming Wings. The band got a bad rap as far as I'm concerned. Best thing about this video is knowing they were all stoned during filming...and being stoned around James Coburn is a scary thing!
And finally… Samantha Elauf, a 19-year-old community college student from Tulsa, Okla., is Muslim. I know what you’re gonna say, “Someone in Oklahoma is Muslim? YIKES!” Elauf is suing Abercrombie & Fitch because they refused to hire her ‘cause she wears a hijab. A&F says it violates their “Look Policy.” Elauf says it’s religious discrimination. I say… since when is employment a “right?” If Elauf wanted to be a lifeguard, they wouldn’t let her wear a hijab either. Heck-fire…could you imagine how hard it would be to work as a hair model with a hijab? Impossible. Abercrombie & Fitch have every right to demand their employees fit their “look” and you can’t really get the “heroin chic” look wearin’ religious garments.
Hey, I’m all about religious freedom. And if Islam wants to stay rooted in the misogynistic ways of the 5th Century…so be it. But this is America and just as Samantha Elauf has the right to wear her hijab in public just as Abercrombie & Fitch has the right to not hire her. Besides…WTF would want to work at an A&F store in Oklahoma? Talk about your weird dichotomy. Having an Abercrombie & Fitch in the OK is like driving a Lamborghini in a demolition derby. “Which way to the shit-kicker aisle?” Aye caramba!
Chris Ault has been coaching at Nevada since they used real pig bladders for a ball. He’s in the college football hall of fame. Does an 0-2 start make him less smart than any year before? No. He’s the same coach that’s been at the helm for decades. He didn’t just all-of-a-sudden get stupid like Colin Powell did. Besides…Ault isn’t the one running and blocking and tackling. He’s also not the one NOT running and NOT blocking and NOT tackling.
And lastly…Nevada hasn’t been a major player in college football since we moved up to 1-A from 1-AA. Remember those days? Crisp Saturdays in November, playoffs at hand and the smell of victory in the air. Remember those days? I do. And I surely do miss ‘em. But the fact is, the powers-that-be decided to move up and play with the big boys and we’ve been getting’ our hats handed to us ever since. Nevada will never be one of the elite teams when it comes to college football. All we can do is take it in the keester during the non-conference schedule, hope to beat tomato cans like Idaho and San Jose State during conference and hope for a miracle against the likes of Hawaii, Fresno State and Boise State. Stranger things have happened…just not lately.
Over the weekend 22-year-old Steven Hinton won the Reno Championship Air Races Unlimited Gold division piloting his P-51 Mustang, Strega, at more than 490mph. The headline read…”Reno Air Races close with historic victory.” You know what I thought when I read that story? When P-51’s were out there in R/L, waxing Zeroes and poppin’ caps at the Luftwaffe they were being flown by kids just as young, and younger, than Hinton. There is a reason those brotherhubbbards are called the “Greatest Generation.” They were twentysomethings and they were flying life or death missions in the greatest war of the 20th Century. Nowadays, 21-year-olds are most likely still living with mommy and daddy and workin’ at the drive thru of some greasy burger joint. Sad.
And finally…here we go again. The headline in today’s RGJ blared, “Region to get a new slogan.” Seems the RSCVA wants to boost visitor numbers and they think a new slogan will do the trick. Yeah, that always works. Now, I know what you’re sayin’, “The RSCVA has someone on board who thinks? Hardly. We did this a couple of months ago when the City of Sparks wanted to change their nickname from the “Rail City” to something like, “City of the Blowing Tulips.” GAWD! So, I guess if the RSCVA thinks “America’s Adventure Place” isn’t “cool or hip enough” of a slogan…I humbly offer my suggestions…
They just introduced a bill in Congress to dump DOMA. Y’all know DOMA right? It’s the “defense of marriage act.” Ever wonder why marriage needed defending? Me too. Question to the social conservatives who rammed the bill through in the first place: WTF should government have a role in sayin’ who can be married or not? I was always told that conservatives wanted smaller, less intrusive government. I guess that only applies to insurance company regulation…and banking industry regulation and environmental regulation… stuff like that. Now I know what some of y’all are gonna be sayin’, “We don’t want anyone out there marryin’ their cousins or getting hitched to their dogs. True dat. But there are already laws on the book that address those issues. What DOMA is, is an anti-gay, homophobic, conservative Christian piece of crapola that shouldn’t have been passed in the first place. It’s nice to see that at least one chucklenut over in DC is thinkin’ with his big head instead of his little head.
Oh yeah…in India (and some other countries)…people do marry goats and pigs and horses. So far, JZeus’ Dad has let ‘em pretty much slide on that one. Heck-fire…the Old Testament is filled with plural marriages and folks bangin’ on the side. So if the tighty-righties start talkin’ about wrath from the Invisible Man in the Sky ‘cause we allow gays to be married…ask ‘em WTF was up with Lamech…and Abraham…and Jacob…and David…and Solomon and the rest of those OT horndogs. That ought to shut their pie holes.
To me, there's no better sight in the air than the sound of the Reno Air Races. It's gonna be a great weekend! As luck has it, I'm a a born and bred USo'A Air Force Thunderbird...but I guess the Blue Angels will suffice. HAW! What am I sayin' "suffice"? The Blue Angels will rock!
So, ACORN is in the news again and, as you might expect, the tighty-righties have their Underoos all up in a twist. O.K., I’m not gonna defend ACORN on this one but I do want to get to the crux of an important biscuit. Let’s just say ACORN is guilty as hell for everything they’re accused of. The worst thing to come out of it is that they get busted for registering a bunch of dead people that cannot vote anyway…because they’re dead! Does that really affect anybody? No.
Last week down in the ABQ, some chucklenut thought it would be a good idea to hang his Nazi flag and his American flag outside his house. People were pretty cheesed off ‘cause the Nazi flag was displayed over an upside down American flag. Next thing you know, the huckleberry gets a visit from the Federales and the flags were removed. That gets me to thinkin’. Isn’t hanging flags outside your house your right under the First Amendment?
Now, I don’t condone what the BSC motherhubbard did but I will support to the death his right to do it. After all, in Iran, China, North Korea or Russia, if you “desecrate” their flag, they’ll perp-walk you to their version of Gitmo lickety-split. True dat. But this is America. It is everyone’s right as a citizen to do with the flag as they see fit. Anyone remember the antenna flags everyone flew on their Hummers after 9/11? What about the flags that corporate hucksters use to sell their wares on the Fourth of July and Veteran’s Day? Crass, vulgar and tasteless, maybe…but not against the law.
Here’s the crux of today’s biscuit: If the Government-Cheese sends John Q. Law to the house of a citizen for displaying a Nazi flag, WTF are they doin’ when the right-wing nut jobs wave teabag placards depicting the President as Hitler? Or Stalin? Or the Joker? Where is the Fuzz when the gun nuts show up outside a ‘Bamer speech packin’ heat? Yo FBI, there are plenty of crazies in the world but bein’ crazy isn’t an offense in the USo’A. If it was, Glenn Beck would be sleepin’ at the Gray Bar Motel and Kanye West and Joe Wilson would be his cellmates.
Well, the brotherhubbard who airmailed his Air Jordans at the Bush-Wipe is getting outta jail soon. While in the slammer, Muntadhar al-Zeid was treated like a hero by the other prisoners. When he gets out, he'll be treated like a God. Anyone who says invading Iraq was a good idea needs a hush puppy up the side of his head. WTF were we thinking? Oh, that's right...we weren't.
Funny (or maybe not)...had we not invaded Iraq, we'd only be in one unwinnable war right now instead of two.
I was gonna commemorate the eighth anniversary of 9/11 with a rant against Chimp-Dick and the rest of the Bush-Wipes. After all, it was on their watch when the shitstorm happened. And pretty much, it's been downhill ever since. But I just can't bring myself to do it. Some wounds are slow to heal. So, on this sad day y'all get John Wayne's America, Why I Love Her. Ya know, Marion Morrison may have been a draft dodging, Hollywood elitist but he surely did this one up right. See y'all on Monday, I'll be in more of a fighting spirit then.
For a long while now I’ve held the position that the United States Congress should loosen up a bit. Heck-fire, the House and Senate are so boring, it seems like the stick up their ass has a stick up its ass! I think it’d behoove all of us to emulate the British system. In the British House of Commons, it’s not unusual for a legislator to stand up and give Bronx cheer, or the finger or an F-Bomb to the Prime Minister. High comedy indeed. I only mention this ‘cause back here in the USo’A, the loonies on the left and elsewhere are calling for the head of South Carolina Congressman Joe Wilson.
Y’all know J-Dub…he’s the brotherhubbard who shouted “You lie!” during the ‘Bamer’s JSo’C speech last night. Now, some people think that Mister Wilson was out of line but y’all gotta remember, this is America. We can say any goddamned thing we want. It’s our right. And, as citizens, it’s our duty to let the government-cheese heads know what we’re thinking. Couldn’t do that in China or Russia or Iran without ‘em slappin’ you in their version of Gitmo. True dat. Another reason I’m siding with Joe Willie on this one is ‘cause for eight long years, all I ever did was shout at George “My Pet Goat” Bush when he was on the tube. Hell, I went through more than two dozen television sets during that period ‘cause every time I saw that smarmy little chimp-dick on television, I’d toss my beer bottle at him. Aye caramba!
So cut Congressman Wilson some slack. At least, being from the S.C., he wasn’t out “hiking the old Appalachian Trail” like Governor Mark “Of The Beast” Sanford. And one quick aside for the tighty-righties out there who think I’m on your side…Bite me. I don’t roll like that. Y’all should think back to the days when you insisted that any criticism of the President of the United States amounted to treason. Remember that Reflublicans?” I do. That was back when your boy WPE was president. Maybe you should show the same kind of respect to the ‘Bamer. You should. But you won’t. That’s just how y’all roll. Hypocrites.
Ya know, I’m pretty damned disappointed. For weeks now the tighty-righties have been skidmarking their Underoos over President Barack Hussein Obama’s speech to the nation's school kids. They said that the ‘Bamer’s speech was gonna turn ‘em all into little left-win socialists. Guess what? It didn’t happen.
I guess I should’ve known it’d turn out this way. It’s the “Boy Who Cried Wolf Syndrome.” Remember back in the day when reflublicans warned us to stock up on supplies and duct tape our houses shut ‘cause the bad guys were gonna attack any minute? I do. BOOGITYBOOGITYBOOGITY! No attack. Remember back in ’04 when the right-wing nutcases said that if a democrat was elected President, the United States would be less safe? I do. I don’t think John Kerry could have made us less safe on purpose than the Bush-Wipe did in those four years.
Yup…the tinfoil hat wearin’ right just loves scarin’ the bejeezus outta folks. And it used to work, Here’s hoping the American public will see through the bullshit now.
Obama advisor and “Green Czar” Van Jones resigned over the weekend ‘cause he said that the government-cheese was involved in 9/11 and he called republicans “assholes.” Well, he wears the kind of tinfoil hat that lets him believe that the Bush-Wipes could plan anything correctly, maybe he should have resigned. But calling republicans assholes…ummm…Didn’t Dick call a fellow member of the Senate a “fucker”? Oh yeah…and Dick is the one who still thinks Iraq had something to do with 9/11. Democrats say dumb things and have to resign…republicans say (and do) dumb things and they’re promoted to the head of the party. Be afraid tighty-righties…2010 is right around the corner and y’all are gonna get smoked like a Cuban cigar. Aye caramba!
While most of y'all are gonna be scarfin' down ribs or headin' out to the lake, I'm gonna be workin' my 13th Jerry Lewis MDA Labor Day Telethon. So y'all be careful out there. This video by the brotherhubbards at Auto-Tune shows you why.
Ya know…I hate to tell y’all I told ya so but, “I told ya so!” Earlier this week, the general in charge of American troops in Afghanistan said that we’ve gotta re-think our strategy in that conflict. No shit, Captain Obvious. Problem is, like I said before, no matter what plan we put in place, short of nuking the whole country into bolivia, is gonna end up with the same result. Mujahedeen – 5 The Rest of the World – 0. Remember your history peeps…Afghanistan is where empires go to die. And the American empire is getting’ ready to take a dirt nap on this one.
The thing that really sucks, though (as if the loss of our standing in the world isn’t enough) is that the Government-Cheese doesn’t even realize that awful reality. As a matter-of-fact, yesterday former director of Homeland Security, Tom Ridge, said that we’d have to change our thoughts on what victory in Afghanistan means. When they start moving the goal posts in the middle of the game, you know you’re screwed. Ridge said victory in Afghanistan would mean rebuilding that country. Aye caramba! Is that really what you think T.R.?
The first day of school was always the hardest The first day of school the hallways the darkest Like a gauntlet the voices haunted Walking in with his thin skin lowered chin He knew the names that they would taunt him with Faggot sissy punk queen queer Although he'd never had sex in his 15 years And when they harassed him it was for a reason And when they provoked him it became open season for the fox and the hunter, the sparks and the thunder that pushed the boy under, then pillage and plunder It kind of makes you wonder how one can hurt another But dehumanizing the victim makes things simpler It's like breathing with a respirator It eases the conscience of even the most conscious and calculating violator Words can reduce a person to an object, something more easy to hate An inanimate entity, completely disposable, no problem to obliterate But death is the silence in this language of violence Death is the silence But death is the silence in this cycle of violence death is the silence It's tough to be young, the young long to be tougher When we pick on someone else it might make us feel rougher Abused by their fathers but was at home though so to prove to each other that they were not homos The exclamation of the phobic fury executioner, a judge and jury The mob mentality, individuality was nowhere Dignity forgotten at the bottom of a dumb old dare and a numb cold stare On the way home it was back to name calling Ten against one they had his back up against the wall and they reveled in their laughter as they surrounded him But it wasn't a game when they up jumped and grounded him They picked up their bats with their muscles straining and they decided they were gonna beat this fella's brain in with an awful, powerful, showerful, an hour full of violence Inflict the strictest brutality and dominance They didn't hear him screaming, they didn't hear him pleading They ran like cowards and left the boy bleeding in a pool of red 'til all tears were shed and his eyes quietly slid into the back of his head dead... But death is the silence in this language of violence Death is the silence But death is the silence in this cycle of violence death is the silence But death is the silence in this language of violence Death is the silence But death is the silence in this cycle of violence death is the silence You won't see the face 'til the eyelids drop You won't hear the screaming until it stops The boy's parents were gone and his grandmother had raised him She was mad she had no form of retaliation The pack didn't have to worry about being on a hitlist But the thing they never thought about was that there was a witness to this senseless crime, right place wrong time Tried as an adult one of them was gonna do hard time
The first day of prison was always the hardest The first day of prison, the hallways the darkest Like a gauntlet the voices haunted Faggot, sissy, punk, queen, queer Words he used before had a new meaning in here As a group of men in front of him came near for the first time in his life the young bully felt fear He'd never been on this side of the name calling Five against one they had his back up against the wall and he had never questioned his own sexuality but this group of men didn't hesitate in their reality with an awful, powerful, showerful, an hour full of violence Inflict the strictest brutality and dominance They didn't hear him screaming They didn't hear him pleading They took what they wanted and then left him bleeding in the corner The giant reduced to Jack Horner But dehumanizing the victim makes things simpler It's like breathing with a respirator It eases the conscience of even the most conscious and calculating violator The power of words, don't take it for granted when you hear a man ranting Don't just read the lips, be more sublime than this Put everything in context Is this a tale of rough justice in a land where there's no justice at all ? Who is really the victim ? Or are we all the cause, and victim of it all ? But death is the silence in this language of violence Death is the silence But death is the silence in this cycle of violence death is the silence But death is the silence in this language of violence Death is the silence B ut death is the silence in this cycle of violence death is the silence You won't see the face 'til the eyelids drop You won't hear the screaming until it stops
This weekend in the 775, one of the greatest events on the planet gets underway…Burning Man. It’s an annual orgy of art and music and mysticism and alcohol and drugs and dirt and boobies on the playa of the Nevada desert. If you get a chance, I highly recommend going. It’ll be the party of your lifetime. And if you do go, remember one thing: Reno-911 still thinks it’s 1950. They’ll be patrolling the area looking for really bad things like pot smokers, drunk people and girls showing off their niblets. I always found it frustrating that the PoPo spend so much time and effort and money bustin’ Burners for being…well for being Burners while the Jaycee Lee Dugards of the world have to fend for themselves. Aye caramba!
Pickling The Beast is rants, ramblings and thought burbles spewed from the brain pan of pj Connolly. If you're sensitive, thin-skinned or easily offended...get to clickin' the hell outta here. Otherwise, enjoy.
The truth shall set you free...then it'll come back to bite you in the ass and make you pay.
If anyone wonders why trust in American news organizations and journalists is at an all-time low, look no further than the stories in the last 12 hours about the tsunami that hit American Samoa. More than three-quarters of the stories I read referred to it as a “tidal wave.” Do you wonder if we trail most of the rest of the industrialized world in math and science? There’s the proof.
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