So Fat Boy finally did it. Yup. Yesterday Mark “I’ve never used steroids” McGwire pulled a Charlie Hustle and copped to juicin’. Turns out he of the Popeye arms shot up more chemicals than that dude from Trainspotting. True dat. But I have a problem with the timing of the whole thing.
For years Big Mac denied drugging and he gave the frownin’ of a lifetime to anyone who thought differently. He was innocent and we were all out to get him. Turns out he was just another lyin-assed jock strap who thought he was above the rules. So now he fesses up. SHEESH!.
Could it be because he’s got a new gig as the St. Louis Cardinals’ hitting coach? Probably not. Could it be because his conscience finally got the better of him? HAW! No, I think the reason MM spilled his guts is that last week he got as many Hall of Fame votes as I did. Ya see, McGwire still thinks that no matter what illegal and immoral things he did, he deserves a place in the HOF. Poppycock!
Yo Mark…you cheated. You cheated and you played us all as fools. And now you think that a half-assed mea culpa is gonna get you some sympathy votes for the HOF? Never. You and your ilk almost destroyed the sport of baseball and no amount of crocodile tears will change the situation. Other people might forgive you. They’re better persons than I am. But to me Mr. McGwire, the only hall you should be inducted into is the Hall of Fuck Off and Slither Back Under the Rock You Came From. Ummm...is that a hall? The HOFOASBUTYCF.
BTW...I surely hope you get a call from the Justice Department soon. Lying to Congress will get you time in the Gray Bar Motel. True dat.
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