Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Fistianity


Here at PTB, I’ve never had a problem pointing out Christian hypocrisy. As a matter-of-fact, it’s one of my favorite pastimes. But I’ve gotta be honest, with chucklenuts out there like Pat Robertson and David Vitter and Nevada’s own John “Able Semen” Ensign, it’s kinda like shooting fish in a barrel…with a bazooka. ANYWAY…



I came across an article the other day that said some Evangelical Christians, thinkin’ that their churches have become too “feminized”, are turning to a unique way of getting the younger generation (especially men) back into their flocks. How? They’re pullin’ a Don King and they’re promoting MMA-style fighting! HAW! The goal, “is to inject some machismo into their ministries — and into the image of JZeus — in the hope of making Christianity more appealing.”



One of the big-time backers of the idea is Ryan Dobson. You know him as the son of James Dobson, founder of “Focus on the Family." Y’all remember FoF dontcha? FOF is the homophobic, xenophobic, fearmongering, cracker-assed-crackers behind politicians like Mike Huckabee and Caribou Barbie and behind the “We need a Constitutional Amendment to protect marriage” bullshit. Think of ‘em as Bible-totin’ teabaggers. What gets me about this is that, IMHO, fighting is the last thing Christians should do, right?



So, I referred to the Christian part of my Bible (the New Testament) and wondered what JZeus might say about this shit.


Matthew 5:38…”Turn the other cheek.”

Luke 6:27…”Treat others as you would have them treat you.”

Mark 14:43…”All who take the sword die by the sword.”


So here’s the crux of today’s biscuit…Evangelical Christians in America today are about as Christ-like as a bag of doorknobs. They wouldn’t know the teachings of Christ if they bit ‘em on their collective asses. No, the SOG wouldn’t have endorsed MMA-style fighting to attract younger men Catholic priests? That’s a whole different story. I’ll bet that right now, JZeus is spinning in His grave but I'll bet it makes the Westboro Baptist Church proud as punch. Pun intended.


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