Thursday, August 30, 2007

Homo-crite Says What?

Here at PTB, we love our GLBT sisters, brothers and others. What a sad, boring place America would be without 'em.

Which brings us to the "Party of Family Values"...





Peter Puffer






and just for our brown-skinnded GLBT's...


At least the Democrats don't pretend to be holier than thou. It's the height of hypocracy to claim God is on your side and being gay is bad and then going out and looking for turd-blossoms in airport bathrooms.

When they say they love America...they're lying.

When they day they want to protect Americans and our way of life...they're lying!!!


Thursday, August 23, 2007

Travesty at Sweet Leaf High

Uh oh…another high-profile pot bust.'s not like anyone is surprised that a D.J. would toke a spliff.

You’d think that LyCo-911 would have bigger fish to fry than dope smokin’ hippies...Guess not.

Here at PTB, it puzzles us how you can come home from a hard day’s work and relax by:

Slammin’ a dozen Tequila shooters,

smokin’ a pack of Camels and...

poppin’ a handful of ‘scripted V’s ...but god FORBID you twist up a blunt.

Have you read your Bible?

Do you know who John D. Rockefeller was?

Have you ever heard of "Hemp For Victory"?
At least, Travis T. didn't go all hypocritical on us like Walter Floyd.

When they say they love America...They're LYING!!!!!


Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Fair Weather

Allright, allright…yeah, we’ve been a little negative here at PTB lately. But, SHEESH, have you SEEN some of the things goin’ on out there? YIKES!


We’re gonna keep it light today ‘cause one of our faves kicks off its 133rd year here in the 775. That’s right, the Nevada State Fair.

Wanna cheap date? Head off to the cooking competitions where audience members get to eat what the judges didn’t.

Then head over to the Tilt-A-Whirl and learn what a bulimic feels like.

Got a need for speed? Check out the drag racing wiener dogs.

The fair is one of the best things about the 775…so go out there and have fun!

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Don't Bend Over In The Shower Mike!

He copped a plea.

You don't cop a plea unless you're at least a little guilty.

What Michael Vick did to his dogs is's too nice of a term. What he did was flat out BSC.

Your dog loves you no matter what kind of prick you are.

Hitler's dog loved him and he was a MAJOR asshole

Dick's dog loves him and he's a HUGE dick.

Even Michael Vick's dogs loved him. How did he return that unconditional love? Like the rat-bastard he is. Hey Michael...enjoy the Gray Bar Motel. You're getting a WAY better fate than your dogs.


Monday, August 20, 2007

Hear No Evil...See No Evil...Speak No Evil

In a new survey, The Project for Excellence in Journalism found that coverage of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars has dropped significantly. Network evening news scaled back more than 40 percent while cable news coverage of the war dropped 39 percent.

One quick question: WTF could be a more important story than American men and women fighting and dying for a lost cause in an unjust war?

Oh…that’s right.

When they tell you they love America…they’re LYING!


Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Homeland Insecurity

Certainly, we're no fans of the Department of Homeland Security here at PTB. They do read this blog occasionally and for that we're flattered. But we think the whole operation is un-American, wasteful and, quite frankly, more than a little creepy.

Check it:

The government-cheese has handed out more than$46 billion to police and fire departments around the country since 2001. That's a LOT of scratch.

Newark, NJ got $250,000 for new, air-conditioned garbage trucks.

Madisonville, TX got $30,000 for a custom trailer to be used as an emergency center during its annual Mushroom Festival.

Washington, DC got $100,000 to send sanitation workers to a Dale Carnegie course.

and now this...

Our tax dollars are being spent by DHS on something called "Project Hostile Intent". Basically, it's the use of involuntary facial and speech signals captured on video to identify people "involved in possible malicious or deceitful acts" -- before they ever commit the crime!!!

A couple of questions:

Since when has it become illegal to think of something illegal? Are they gonna send someone to Gitmo for thinkin' about poppin' a cap in a Bush-Wipe?

If DHS can't accurately screen for weapons when you're standing in the friggin airport well do you think their "facial expression recognition" software is gonna work?

When they say they love America...they're LYING.

When they say they want to protect Americans...they're LYING.


Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Homeland Security

This isn't a hero.

Neither is this...or this.

Do you know what mobile homes are made of? Cardboard & kerosine. Running into a burning trailer to save the occupants trapped inside is the ultimate heroic act.

You don't need a hundred billion dollar boondoggle to keep you safe. Just your neighbor. THAT'S why we love livin' in the 775.
We can only hope to give as good an account when it's our turn.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Hot August Frights

Were you there? No. Of course you weren't. NO ONE WAS!

Saturday night in downtown was emptier than the space between WPE's ears!

There were more WMD's in Iraq than there were tourists in downtown Reno!

It was so quiet downtown that you could hear a pin drop. But if you were the one dropping the pin, Reno 911 would have perp-walked you to the hoosegow for "Gang Related Activity".

So...the chicken-shit, pink-assed crackers that are the powers that be in the 775 got their wish. No Saturday night cruise. The blowback of it all is that in 20 years, the same brown-skinded brothers you chased off will be HAN'ers themselves...only they won't be coming to Reno...that's 'cause they weren't welcome here in 2007.

It's a travesty.


Friday, August 10, 2007

Cooling Off Hot August Nights

So, Reno 911 wants to stop crime during Hot August Nights…an admirable goal.

So whadda they do?

They log on to Craig’s List to bust the EVIL HO’s!!!!


No, they didn’t bust Crystal darkness, OBL or Dick... they popped EVIL HO's!!!

Finding hookers on Craig’s list easier than finding an anal-retentive, perverted cracker in the Republican party.

Wanna get the real HAN bad guys? Run A DUI checkpoint on South Virginia street.

It's hypocritical because 30 miles away you CAN pay for sex

When they say they're here to "serve and protect"...THEY'RE LYING!!!


Wednesday, August 8, 2007

She Took My Flag but Gave Me A Hummer

The last thing we’d ever associate with patriotism is a Hummer. They’re nothing more than road-hogging, gas guzzling, penis extensions.

But the owner of Towbin Hummer down in the 702 says that’s just what his 100 foot flag is there for…to show how much of a patriot he is. Others contend he’s using Old Glory to sell more cars.

We here at PTB have to ask…what is more patriotic than raw capitalism? Besides…here in the 775 our biggest flag is flying over an adult bookstore!


Tuesday, August 7, 2007

It Sucks Livin' In The Suck

There's no H2O in The Suck.

There's no electricity in The Suck.

A dozen or so brave Americans die in The Suck every day.

Hundreds of civilians die in The Suck every day.

Q: Do you think the Iraqi people are better off now than they were under Saddam Hussein?

When they tell you we're there to liberate the Iraqi people and give them democracy...THEY'RE LYING!!!


Monday, August 6, 2007

And Up From The Ground Comes A 'Bubblin' Crude

Reno said no.

Carson City thought it was shitty.

Minden and Gardnerville were thinkin' ill.

The county planning commission, was on a mission, so they recommended against it.

But county commissioners, All-knowing, all-seeing, who know more than we mere mortals, approved it.

Now Jethro has his casino and the 775 gets yet another example of how elected officials don't give a damn about anyone but themselves.


Friday, August 3, 2007

Hot Time In The City

It’s finally here. The 775’s tribute to the cars, music and style of yore.

People cruise in their hoopty wagons, mack on the girls and get hassled by the fuzz…just like they did back in Fonzie’s day.

Problem is, now the HANers are all old geezers so they’ve decided to stop their Saturday night cruise.


‘Cause the brown skinned kids from Cali roll in driving their rice rockets, macking on the girls and getting hassled by John Law.

Officials say they're "troublemakers."

We here at PTB consider them the HANers of the future.

Reno only wants your tourist dollars if you're a pink-skinned cracker!


Wednesday, August 1, 2007

If Pro Is The Opposite Of Con…What’s The Opposite Of Progress?

It certainly seems like we’ve spread real American Democracy to the middle east. The whole friggin’ Iraqi Parliment is taking a six week vacation.


Don’t they know there’s a war goin’ on??? Do these Iraqi-crats think their country is on the right track? And why hasn’t anyone from OUR congress said anything?

Meanwhile…every day they’re on vacation, more American soldiers and Iraqi civilians will needlessly die.

When they say they care for our brothers and sisters in the armed services…they’re LYING!