The Stories of His Demise...

I remember it like it was yesterday. During a near-meltdown at the Springfield nuclear power plant, an automatic shutdown computer was flashing the following message: To avoid meltdown, press any key. Homer, the safety inspector on duty, was apoplectic, “Any key? Where’s the ‘any’ key? I can’t find the ‘any’ key!” And that about sums up the Republican result in last night’s Nevada GOP Senate primary.

You see, a couple of months ago, people were sayin’ that Harry Reid’s career was sleeping with the fishes. The bobbleheads on television were already saying that anyone could beat Reid in the general election. Then the republicans went out and got…anyone. They got “Tark the Shark’s” son…they got the Chicken Lady…they got the only politician in Nevada who supports, get this, BANNING SALES OF ALCOHOL. Aye caramba!

The three tighty-righties fought each other and called each other names and in the end there was only one winner. Sharron “Wacky” Angle…she of the “No alcohol should be sold in Nevada” meme. So, sometime last night Harry Reid’s career rolled over in its grave, climbed out of the hole and is now prepared to go full-fledged zombie on Angle’s Teabaggin’ self. The talking heads thought anyone could beat Reid in the general election. That was yesterday. Today it’s a whole different story.

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Hats Off

A student at North Valleys High School sued the Washoe County School District because she was being harassed by classmates for wearing her Islamic do-rag. She dropped out because of the threats and then sued the district. She was awarded almost a half a million dollars. Question: If getting picked on ‘cause of your religion gets you a half a mil…whadda you think some booger eatin’ spaz is gonna get because the kids made fun of his non-existent kickball skills?



Pirates take over an American cargo ship off the coast of Somalia. The U.S. government sends one navy vessel and a boatload of FBI guys to “monitor the situation.” You can call it piracy if you want but it’s terrorism pure and simple. Question: Since when does the United States negotiate with terrorists? Why not roll up with the USS Abraham Lincoln and blow the motherhubbards into Bolivia? Just askin'.



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