Talk is Cheap

I won’t go into too much detail on last night’s presidential address. My head is still pounding from slammin' all those shots. Who’d have thunk the over/under on “stink-eyes thrown by Nancy Pelosi" would go so far over. Now every time I see the Speaker of the House, I know I’m gonna belch stale beer, Doritos and Jose Cuervo. YIKES!

So…the remnants of last night’s SOTU speech are still passed out on the basement floor, surrounded by empty Keystone cans, Tequila bottles and shot glasses. Aye caramba! To the boys and girls in this hood, the SOTU addy is better than the Super Bowl. That’s how we roll here in the 775. A couple of quick thoughts on Barry-O’s offering…

Three minutes into the speech…THREE FRIGGIN’ MINUTES into it, the cameras cut to Nevada Senator Harry Reid. And the chucklenut was YAWNING! SHEESH! Yo Harry…if your career in the Senate wasn’t over before last night…it is now. Worst. Move. Ever.

Nuthin’ funnier than seein’ the ‘Bamer waggin’ his finger at the SCOTUS, Inc. Justices and scolding them like they were naughty schoolgirls. They were squirmin’ in their seats like they were bein’ forced to watch an episode of “Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire.” True dat. Come to think of it…Ruth “Darth” Bader-Ginsburg is my new secret fantasy schoolgirl crush. So sue me.

And finally…say what you will about BHO’s TelePrompter abilities, say what you will about his rhetorical flair and his smooth, dulcet tones…but if last night’s speech doesn’t kick start the legislative process in the House and the Senate, we’re all gonna be doomed. Republicans with thir smart-assed reactions, tryin’ to look interested, acting like a bunch of frat boys in Economics class. Hey John Boenher…y’all are either with us or against us. What’ll it be? My guess is the latter. DOOMED I TELLS YA!

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R.I.P. GOP

Damn, that was one rockin’ speech last night. Problem is, just like every other SotU Addy, we had to go and play a drinking game during the speech. Last night was a Tequila shot every time the Republicans stood up to cheer and a beer chaser every time the Democrats stood up to cheer. Aye Caramba! It’s gonna take a couple of days for that game to wear off. So, surrounded by empty Cuervo bottles and myriad crushed beer cans…a couple of quick thoughts on the ‘Bamer’s first-ever SotU Addy…




Ruth Bader Ginsburg is our new hero. Last night as BOb was making his way to the podium, he stopped and chatted with the SCOTUS Justice. WTF is so special ‘bout that? Less than a month after having friggin’ cancer surgery, Babe Ruth was back at work and in attendance at this historic event. Given that after 9/11, George “Nookuler” Bush spent one out of every three days on vacation (keeping the country safe we assume) it’s nice to see a public figure be so hardcore. How hardcore you ask? RGB hasn’t missed a day in court since her surgery…her FRIGGIN' PANCREATIC CANCER FRIGGIN’ SURGERY!!! Ruth Bader Ginsburg – she is one bad-assed motherhubbard.




Here at PTB we’re not much into style. When you live in and blog from the ‘rents’ basement, there’s really no need. But WTF was up with Nancy Pelosi’s dress last night? SHEESH! Did you see that hideous green monstrosity? The friggin’ thing looked like it was made out of the drapes from a 1970’s strip club. Seriously, that color of green is only found on the bathroom floor of a fraternity, floating on the top of a fetid pond or in the Depends of an incontinent old rat-bastard. Simply. Putrid.




One of the high points of the speech was when Barry-O said that the economic crisis is an opportunity for America. You know, in China the word for crisis is the same as the word for opportunity…Crisitunity.




And finally, there was Bobby Jindal. The Reflublicans trotted out the Louisiana Governor ‘cause he’s relatively young and untainted by anything the Bush-Wipes did. It also helped that he’s a brown-skinded brotherhubbard. Problem is…he sucked! Governor LaLa can’t read a TelePrompter for shit, his inflection was non-existent and his pacing was atrocious. Combine all that with the same tired, old, boogity-boogity, right wing, nut job rhetoric and you’ve got comedy of the highest order Now the Tighty-Righties still have Rummy, and Scooter, and Karl Rove and Dr. Evil but it’s gonna take one big-assed shovel to get the shit to shoe-level…here’s hoping they won’t need a TelePrompter. Or better yet, they could always enlist the help of Ruth Bader Ginsburg. That woman has Huevos Rancheros!



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