Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Friends In Low Places

Every time pResident Evil opens his pie hole the stench of his blather has us doing the Technicolor yawn. Yesterday Bush-2.0 was at the U.N. and he insisted that the world body "spread democracy" and referred to Fidel Castro as "a cruel dictator" The Cuban delegation promptly gave him the old ass-crack bye-bye salute and stormed out of the room. Good for them. What the hell does "GEE DUmB" know about democracy and freedom?

These guys are his friends...

These guys are his bestest buddies...

He's even friends with these rat-bastards.

We've told you once, we've told you a thousand times...The only thing that makes a country "evil" is if American businesses can't make money there.


Friday, September 21, 2007

If It's Too Loud...You're Not Deaf Yet!

Another weekend, another festival here in the 775. This time it's Street Vibrations.

Every year the hogs, their riders and the men and women who love them descend on us like Mormon Crickets on a corn stalk...and every year the blue-plated blue hairs bitch and moan and complain about the noise.

Look, Street Vibrations brings a lot of money (and visitors) to the 775. If you don't like the noise, may we suggest you go visit the grandkids this weekend.

If you're staying, loosen up and have fun. After all, that's why we live here in the 775!


Thursday, September 20, 2007

Recipie For Disaster

Wanna know how to make an anti-American-freedom-hating future terrorist?

It's EASY!!!

Just send a bunch of North Carolina rednecks into Iraq and let them kill whomever they want.

That's why they hate us.

Not our freedom...

Not our music...

No...they hate us because we're in their country killing civilians and every time we do...we make terrorists out of those who survive. We will be paying for this war for a VERY long time!!!

When they say they support our troops and they love America...THEY'RE LYING!!!!


Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Where In The Hell Is Carmen San Diego?

So, little Johnny can't tell the difference between Djibouti and a dipstick.

No child left behind...yeah right.

It's been happening for a long time now -- American kids getting fat, lazy and dumb.

We put the blame right where it belongs...with mummy and daddy. Looking at the parenting skills Americans show on a daily basis, it's no wonder we're getting our asses kicked in everything from algebra to zoology. America, the greatest country in the world? Hardly.


Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Baby You Can Drive My Car

Women want to drive in Sand-Diego?


While the Bush-Wipe is sucking commie ball-sack...

and his skronk is bawlin 'bout Burma...

This is how are allies behave.

If you let Muslim women drive cars...next thing you know they're wanting to cure cancer, solve global warming or bring about world peace.

At least Saudi women drive better than their male counterparts!


Friday, September 14, 2007

How Dumb do the Traitors Think We Are?

We'd been waiting all week to hear what GDP had to say. He lied. The Iraqi insurgents are beating on us like we stole something.

We watched last night as President Dumb-Ass went through the same half-truths and misconceptions that got us into this clusterfuck.

Let's clear up a few things...

Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11.

The violence in Iraq is NOT subsiding.

And 37 countries may be in the "Coalition of the Willing" but SHEESH...Moldova? The only thing we're doing in Iraq is making more martyrs to come after us.

It took the Idiot-In-Chief sixteen minutes of his speech before he mentioned Afghanistan...you remember Afghanistan right? It's where OBL is hiding.

Speaking of the devil...hey Bush-Wipes...How is the hunt for the 9/11 mastermind going? Not too good we'll wager.

The Iraqis are kicking our ass the same way we kicked British Butt in 1776...

The same way the Viet-Nam-Ese handed us our hats in 1969...

The same way the Afghans put boot to butt on the Russians.

Any way you look at it...we're toast!

When they tell you they care about America...they're LYING!!!


Friday, September 7, 2007

Gettin' High With A Little Help From Our Friends

One of the things we love about livin’ here in the 775 is that we’ll race just about anything.

We race cars

We race airplanes

We race wiener dogs

We race dromedaries

Hell…we even race turd-holders.

But this weekend’s race is special. It’s officially called the “Great Reno Balloon Race”. Here at PTB we call it “Hot Air Up There”. It’s in the top ten of all-time greatest cheap, romantic dates. If you can’t get laid taking your sweetie to GRBR/HAUT…you’re just not tryin’ hard enough. So, enjoy the festivities, have a great weekend and give your sweetie a kiss from us!


Thursday, September 6, 2007

Finding Nemo

We’ve got nothing but love and respect for Steve Fossett.

Hell, anyone who can circumnavigate the whole friggin’ globe in a lousy balloon sports huevos rancheros grande.

But we have to ask. If you, dear reader, were the one missing, do you think they’d have seven planes, three helicopters, a boat and hundreds of people out there pounding the bush looking for your sorry ass? No.

Hell, if they looked for OBL with this much firepower, we’d have him by now.

It just proves PTB’s ongoing point. If you’re rich in this country, you get a LOT better treatment from the government-cheese than if you’re poor.


Monday, September 3, 2007