What's Love Got To Do With It?

Folks who regularly click over here to PTB know I love me my Muslim brothers and sisters. True story. But sometimes ya read a story and think, “Aye caramba!” Case in point…

Muslim leaders in Mother Russia are urging their flocks to disregard Valentine’s Day because it "preaches universal permissiveness, amorality and nihilism." SHEESH! Valentine’s Day does all that? Hardly. Let me explain to y’all. Valentine’s Day is a corporate-run holiday designed to guilt men into buying crap for their wives that they don’t need, with money they don’t have, to get a result that is not always forthcoming. Don’t believe me? Americans (mostly men) spend right around 14.7 BILLION dollars every year on crap like candy and cards and flowers. Question to all the boys out there: When was the last time you got laid ‘cause you bought your woman flowers? Candy? A Valentine’s Day card? Probably never. If y’all wanna get down to the horizontal mambo, you’d be better off buyin’ her a fifth of Jack Daniels. Yup, that’d loosen her up.

No my Muslim brothers and sisters. While your spiritual leaders take pot shots at our national holidays like teabaggers after Chocolate Elvis, they’re wrong about the whole thing. Valentine’s Day doesn’t stand for universal permissiveness, amorality or even nihilism. It stands for the rampant greed and unabashed consumerism that is the United States of America, Inc. Valentine’s Day has as much to do with sex and love as Christmas has to do with the birth of the SoG. Not a damned thing.

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Merry Christmas Part #3

Here's the third part of PTB's Christmas Extravaganza. As you can tell...here at PTB we love us some Rudolph.

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Christmas Party From Hell

We find it pretty easy to hate the holidays. Three hundred and sixty-four days out of the year people are pricks to you then, all of a sudden, it’s “Merry Christmas!” Bah Humbug. With that said, below is a little ditty from the greatest a cappella band of all time…The Bobs. If you haven’t heard their album Too Many Santas you’re missing out on a holiday treat.

It's the night before the night before Christmas…

old friends together the same time every year.

She's leaving him, but he doesn't know it.

To everyone else it's perfectly clear.

Their holiday party has secrets in the air

something that he doesn't share.

She's found another.

She's movin' on.

The day after New Years she'll be gone.

The guests are uneasy they don't know how to act.

Should they tell him or keep it hushed?

Take a drink and a snack?

Talking behind his back

soon everyone's getting lushed.

It's the night before the night before Christmas…

(8.-)

The Day After...

For those of you, like us, having to go back to work today...we've got a special treat. Consider it a belated Christmas present.

It's a game. Everyone likes games...right? Well...here it is. Undoubtedly, you've used the search engine Google to look up all sorts of minutae. Heck, you might have even Googled yourself (just to see what was out there). This game is called "Google Lowball." The object of the game is to Google two words (no proper names) to see how few search results you get.

Example: Alabaster Porcupine got 13,100 hits...Sinister Vacuum got 168,000...Hell, Intelligent Bush got 1,860 hits...SHEESH! We haven't found too many searches with fewer than a thousand hits...if you do, consider yourself lucky. If you don't, no worries...you've got lots of time in the next few days to practice.

Good luck!

(8.-)

Happy B-Day JayZoos!