Fluff Bombing

We’re gonna do a quick drive by today, so hang on…


This is a perfect example why Michael Vick can munch on our doodleberries. Man has seizure, man needs medical attention. Who calls 911? HIS DOG! Yup...and the canine with the cranium didn’t even need to call information to get the number. He’d already dialed 911 for his owner on two other occasions. They don’t call ‘em “man’s Best Friend” for nothin’.


The two states with the highest dropout rates for high schoolers? The Silver State and the Great White North. Following close behind…Mississippi, Alabama, Texas and the rest of the bass-ackward deep south. No more wondering how the hell those guys can vote Republican time and time again -- no brain pans.


Foreclosures in the 775 jumped 46% in August. People are losing their homes at an astounding rate. Hmmm…and who’s been in charge the last eight years? Tighty-righty.


It looks like the FDA has approved an “anti-nausea patch” to help people undergoing chemo. Waste. Of. Time. We already have the best nausea-killer in the world growin’ naturally. It’s called the Kind. Wanna know why ganja is illegal and the new FDA patch isn’t? ‘Cause with the chronic, Cheech and Chong get the cash with the new patch…Big Pharma gets the loot. Guess who the government-cheese is gonna side with on that one?


And finally…


Yesterday, The Invisible Man in the Sky’s Right Hand Man here on Earth said that people must accept death at “The hour chosen by God.” Screw that bub. That’s why they have Sudafed, NyQuil, Bayer Aspirin and Band Aids. If the Big Guy gets to decide…why the hell do we have House and Hawkeye and Marcus Welby? No, we will not go quietly in to that good night. Y’all gonna have to take us outta here kickin’ and screamin’. So, when You’re ready, You’d better call Your bouncers ‘cause we’re not gonna go there without a fight.


(8.-)

Farewell Fidel

For the last five decades the USofA has pissed in the faces of the Cuban people all because “El Presidente” is a commie pinko. But we always had a soft spot in our hearts for the “Big-F”. He loved him some baseball (just like us) and loved nothing more than to be the pubic hair on the soda can of American presidents (EXACTLY like us). See, unlike politicians and other chicken shits, we’re not afraid of communism. Hell…if the SoG was alive today…HE’D be a commie.


But Fidel announced his retirement today and right on cue, the pResident chimed in. Straight out of chimp-dick’s lie hole comes this gem: “I view this as a period of transition and it should be the beginning of the democratic transition in Cuba." Democratic transition? Since when WPE?


Here’s the crux of our biscuit…If we put the Cuban people through hell ‘cause they’re commies…WTF is up with our “good friends” China? Oh…we love us the Chi-nee ‘cause they sell us lead-infested crap at really cheap prices and they let our companies do business there. As they say, it’s an untapped market. If there’s money to be made, by golly, we’ll make it! So Chinese communism is O.K. according to Bush-Wipe.


What about Viet Nam? American soldiers fought and died in that godforsaken shit-hole AGAINST communism. The commies won. So, is Vietnamese communism bad? Hell no. Since they’re gonna let a lot of big U.S. companies do business in their country too, WPE has decided they’re our friends now. He even went to Viet Nam (forty years too late) and sucked up to their leader like an infant on a nipple. Just to show how much he cares.


It’s this hypocritical bullshit that makes us crazy! Time and time again we mention that our bestest friends in the middle east, Saudi Arabia, treat citizens worse than Michael Vick treats his dogs. Does GWB2 embargo them? No. Does he call for democratic elections? No. What does he do? He sells them guns and bullets and bombs and doesn’t say a word to 'em. HYPOCRITE!


George…you’d better not EVER come back to the 775. If you do, we’re gonna put a foot so far up your ass that we’ll need your dentist to tie our shoe! As for Cuba...we think MLB should move Tampon Bay to Havana and make everyone happy.

(8.-)

Don't Bend Over In The Shower Mike!

He copped a plea.


You don't cop a plea unless you're at least a little guilty.


What Michael Vick did to his dogs is unconscionable...no...that's too nice of a term. What he did was flat out BSC.


Your dog loves you no matter what kind of prick you are.


Hitler's dog loved him and he was a MAJOR asshole


Dick's dog loves him and he's a HUGE dick.


Even Michael Vick's dogs loved him. How did he return that unconditional love? Like the rat-bastard he is. Hey Michael...enjoy the Gray Bar Motel. You're getting a WAY better fate than your dogs.


(8.-)

Dog Bites Man...Media In A Frenzy!

We here at PTB are avid dog lovers. After all, some of our fondest memories were hangin' with Hercules.



If Michael Vick is convicted of the crimes he's accused of committing...he should get a long room reservation at the Gray Bar Motel...HOWEVER...



This is AMERICA where you're innocent 'til proven guilty (unless you're a swarthy foreigner...then you get slapped into Gitmo).



Don't forget the rush to judgment in the Duke Lacrosse case (we're talking to YOU Jesse Jackson!).



Until Vick gets his trial by a jury of his peers...and convicted...PETA, the Humane Society and the rest of the protesting rat-bastards should just STFU.



(8.-)

Spoiler Alert!!!

Well, here we are. The Harry Potter saga is deader than one of Michael Vick's best friends.

We knew this day would come but we never thought it would end in such a bizarre way.

Harry...gay?

Hermione and Ron having baby-daddy issues?

Professor Snape inappropriately touching students? EEEEK!

There were a LOT of twists but one thing that didn't surprise us...turns out Lord Voldemort really was a Dick.

That was more obvious than the Hagrid/BALCO storyline.

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