The Friend of My Enemy

Daimler-Benz built Nazi tanks to kill Americans...but the Germans are our friends now, so it’s O.K. to drive a Benzo.

Mitsubishi built Japanese Zeros to kill Americans... but the Japanese are our friends now, so it’s O.K. to drive a Montero.

Fiat made airplanes for Mussolini so his troops could kill Americans… the Italians are our friends now, so it’s O.K. to drive one of those little foreign penis extensions.

See a trend?

Thousands of my brothers and sisters died fighting communist China in the Korean War and Vietnamese communists in the Vietnam War. Today China and Vietnam are our friends. Why? They’re still communists, right? They are our “friends” because they let American companies do business in their countries. Seems communism is good, as long as they let American capitalists make money in their country. Seems we’ll fight anyone for the right to exploit their resources. Don’t let us in and you’re on the shit list...I’m talkin’ to you Cuba!

Why do you think the U.S. puts up with BSC motherhubbards like Saudi Arabia, Israel and Pakistan? Because they let our corporations make money off of them. Americans haven’t fought a war for the right reasons since WWII. Since then, all the fighting has been for the wrong reasons. Gives me hope, though. If the Taliban would just let McDonalds or WalMart or BofA do business with ‘em, we’d be their BFF’s. Time will tell.

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The Cup Runneth Over

For a football lover like me, there is nothing better than the World Cup. This football doesn’t pit Los Angeles against New York or Miami against Denver like American football does. No, this football pits the likes of Germany against Serbia (just like WWII) and the United States against England (just like 1776!). The international flavor of World Cup football is one of its biggest draws. Which brings me to North Korea.

A couple of days ago Yahoo Sports did a profile on the North Korean football team. The comment section quickly filled up with vitriolic statements like, “If you don’t win, they’ll execute you” and “Your country sucks” and “I hope you all die.” Aye caramba!

Now, I know there are a lot of haters out there. Heck-fire…I’m one of ‘em but this is the World Cup...THE WORLD FRIGGIN' CUP...you could, at least, admit that North Korea is a football team that has earned a place in the tournament and should be treated with the same respect as every other team in the tournament. Don't hate their politics, love their football. I’m no fan of Angela Merkel but I don’t go ‘round calling the German team Nazis. And I’m no fan of l’il Kim either but these players have earned the right to play on the world’s most prestigious stage…even if they are the biggest long shots in the tournament.

Remember...sports fans LOVE an underdog and no team is more underdogged than North Korea. I , for one, hope North Korea plays their collective arses off and give Joga Bonito, and the rest of us, a game...no, a World Cup for the ages. Oh yeah, and one other thing…

QUEEN ELIZABETH IS BUTT UGLY…PRINCE CHARLES HAS A SMALL PENIS AND FISH AND CHIPS TASTE LIKE ASS!!!

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Double Jeopardy

You might have never heard of Tsutomu Yamaguchi. To some…he’s the luckiest man in the world. To others…the unluckiest man in the world. You see, Yamaguchi was the only certified survivor of the atomic bombings of both Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Talk about a pretty fucked up week. Aye caramba!

Yamaguchi died Tuesday. He was 93 years old. So, in his honor…a PTB haiku. Sleep well brother.

Kill men to save men.

BA-BOOM and the people die.

Were we really saved?

Twas death from above.

Where was God in all of this?

Spinning in His grave.

Death is the silence.

The cycle of violence.

Now they rest in peace.

War and death still live.

Have we learned from history?

Not a goddamned thing.

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Life's a Mitch

Eighty-four years ago today, Billy Mitchell was court-martialed for telling his superiors what he knew in his heart to be true. The airplane was here to stay…it was going to revolutionize the development of the world and the world’s armies and his superiors were pompous douchebags who wouldn’t (or couldn’t) see that obvious fact. Even back in the day it wasn’t a good idea to piss off your boss. Mitchell got demoted and eventually resigned from the U.S. armed services. Too bad. Sixteen years later the Japanese proved him right by bombing the bejeezus out of Pearl Harbor. So much for “I told ya so’s.”



But that’s why Mitchell will always have a place in my heart. Ya see B-Mitch was the kind of guy who could see the future without taking his eye off the present while remembering the lessons of the past. And he wasn’t reticent about his thoughts. He called ‘em like he saw ‘em and more often than not he was right. Alas…we’ve got nothin’ like that now and we sorely need it.



Afghanistan…Pakistan…Iraq…Iran…North Korea…the economy…the insurance and banking cartels…tinfoil hat wearin’ teabaggers…homegrown terrorists…torture…Gitmo...healthcare...the national debt. There are a million December 7ths out there and no one sees ‘em coming. Wish you were here General Mitchell...we could use someone like you. Problem is, if you were, you’d still be vilified and December 7th would still be on the way. True dat.


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Airheads

Over the weekend 22-year-old Steven Hinton won the Reno Championship Air Races Unlimited Gold division piloting his P-51 Mustang, Strega, at more than 490mph. The headline read…”Reno Air Races close with historic victory.” You know what I thought when I read that story? When P-51’s were out there in R/L, waxing Zeroes and poppin’ caps at the Luftwaffe they were being flown by kids just as young, and younger, than Hinton. There is a reason those brotherhubbbards are called the “Greatest Generation.” They were twentysomethings and they were flying life or death missions in the greatest war of the 20th Century. Nowadays, 21-year-olds are most likely still living with mommy and daddy and workin’ at the drive thru of some greasy burger joint. Sad.



Speaking of sad. Gen. Stanley McChrystal has requested an additional 30,000-40,000 U.S. troops for the war in Afghanistan. StMcC says that if he doesn’t get the requested troops, the war in Afghanistan will be lost. So, what’s so sad? Sad is the fact that thousands more brave American soldiers will be put in harm’s way for this sham of a war. Sad is Bowe Bergdahl is still being held prisoner by the bad guys and no one seems to care. But saddest of all, is the fact that Stanley McChrystal, a fucking American general, has no idea that we’ve already lost the war in Afghanistan. And the chucklenut is either too blind or too stupid to realize it. SHEESH!




And finally…here we go again. The headline in today’s RGJ blared, “Region to get a new slogan.” Seems the RSCVA wants to boost visitor numbers and they think a new slogan will do the trick. Yeah, that always works. Now, I know what you’re sayin’, “The RSCVA has someone on board who thinks? Hardly. We did this a couple of months ago when the City of Sparks wanted to change their nickname from the “Rail City” to something like, “City of the Blowing Tulips.” GAWD! So, I guess if the RSCVA thinks “America’s Adventure Place” isn’t “cool or hip enough” of a slogan…I humbly offer my suggestions…


Reno… ‘Vegas’ ugly stepsister.”

“Reno…it’s not just for old ladies playing nickel slots anymore. We’ve got penny slots too!”

“Reno…what happens here is just more expensive than when it happens at home.”

“Drought? What drought? There’s no stinking drought!”

“Reno…we’ve got both kinds of music…country and western!”



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