Thursday Thought Burbles

Yesterday we popped a cap in another Al Qaeda leader in the Af/Pak war. Question: How many "leaders" does Al Qaeda have? It seems every time we drone someone, we either kill innocent civilians or an Al Qaeda "leader." Dude was probably OBL’s limo driver. Oh wait…we’ve already Gitmo-ed that guy.

Saw skeevy Rep. Eric Cantor on television yesterday…spoutin’ on about how “Obamacare” is gonna ruin the country. Nothing new from that lie-hole. But what got me was that Cantor was wearin’ an orange tie…on ST. PATRICK’S DAY!!! Yo Eric…in my hood, wearin’ orange on St. Patrick’s day will get a cap popped right between your eyes. Better not come Teabagging here in the 775 wearin’ that crap. True dat.

While listening to yesterday’s Nevada v Wichita State men’s basketball game on the radio Ryan Radtke, the play-by-play guy, skidmarked his Underoos when this dunk happened. POSTERIZATION!!! Gotta love those radio announcers. Speaking of Wichita State…y'all know what a "Shocker" is? Do y'all realize what a “SHOCKER” is? Aye caramba!

And finally…in a Rhode Island school, they found an effigy of President Obama hanging in a classroom. Seems peeps were cheesed-off when the ‘Bamer applauded the firing of teachers in the underperforming school. Here’s the crux of the biscuit: President Obama didn't fire those teachers. President Obama didn't make those schools into "failing" schools. President Obama applauded holding teachers accountable. Is that a "hang the guy in effigy" offense? No. And to the teacher that said the effigy was part of a lesson plan, I say to you...no wonder your schools are failing. But don't worry…you can always come on out to the 775. We’ve got room for the likes of you. True story.

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Fly By White

Except for the two hours of Nevada’s basketball game last night, I’m lovin’ me some Winter Olympics. Yup, that Shaun White surely tore up the half pipe. That dude can flat-out fly! So in honor of monsieur White’s accomplishments and knowing he hates the nickname “Flying Tomato,” PTB is gonna drop a couple of new ones – “White Out” or “The Red Baron.” All yours bro! Congrats.

As you may have noticed, the 775 has quite a few athletes in these games. Yesterday, one of our girls, Julia Mancuso, got a silver in the women’s downhill. WAY TO GO JULES! So I’m watchin’ her run last night with a barley pop and out of the announcer’s pie hole came, “It’s a tough course out there but Mancuso likes it rough and bumpy.” Insert one beer-filled spit-take and high comedy reigned supreme.

Has anyone else noticed the Olympic promo starring Rascal Flats? The country (AND western) trio are belting out one of their tunes to video of Johnny Weir bein’ flamboyantly gay and a bunch of hockey dudes hugging each other. The dichotomy of the music and the video is a classic example of unintentional comedy in its highest form.

And lastly…all over this Olympic coverage I hear announcers talk about the many cool and awesome things that belong to Canada. Mounties… Molson…and Wayne Gretzky to name three. But in all the coverage I’ve watched, not once has an announcer mentioned Geddy Lee, Alex Lifeson or Neil Peart, collectively known as Rush. Longtime readers of PTB know we’re big Rush fans and it’s disappointing not to hear any mention of one of the greatest rock bands ever …who also happen to be from CANADA! I wonder if skeevy Bob Costas or any of the other myriad announcers and production crew even know what they’re missing? They might not…but I do.

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Wankin' the Weekend

Ninth ranked Boise State is rollin' into town Saturday afternoon for some football.


Saturday night...Oregon State and Mickey-O's little brother come on in for some hoops.


One of the best reasons in the world to live in the 775!


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One Last Day

Just a couple of quick thoughts on this Monday before Voting Day...


Captain Kirk is miffed ‘cause he wasn’t invited to “Mr. Sulu’s Gay Wedding” and the people skidmarking their Underoos are pissin’ and moanin’ ‘bout gays getting married. They're right…if we let gays get married, how long ‘til we get Human/Vulcan marriage? EWWW!!! Yo TJ Hooker, stop by our place…you can get free shrimp and stuff down here in the basement. Mom & dad had a party over the weekend.



Quick question…if military service makes John McCain “prepared” to be president…why didn’t that go into the win column for John Kerry or against Chimp-Dick in 2004?



Alaska Senator Ted Stevens was found guilty but he’s fightin’ the verdict ‘cause there was no compelling evidence. He thinks he’ll get off. Nevada hoopster Brandon Fields WAS guilty but the popo says they’ve got no evidence. They dropped the charges so he got off. Jeez guys…you get everything you need handed to you anyway. Another example of the cute and fuzzy bunnies thinkin’ they’re above us common-folk.




Here at PTB we’re glad to see that public schools will be closed on election day. WOO HOO!!! The RGJ says that it’ll minimize confusion and make more parking available for voters. SHEESH! We had no idea all those middle schoolers were drivin’ their mom’s hoopty wagon to school.


Boogity Boogity say the tighty-righties. If the Dems get control of the House, the Senate and the executive branch (SCOTUS doesn’t count) they’ll run wild. Funny, tighty-righty didn’t say anything about when they were all in the driver’s seat. Guess the last eight years are kind of an embarrassment to ‘em.


If you think someone is snakin’ your stuff on Halloween…do you really have to pop thirty rounds from your AK into the door? Whatever happened to expecting people coming to your door on October 31st?



Glad to see Moammar Gaddafi and Libya getting off the schneid. We’ve always had a soft spot for MoMo. He paid big scratch to the victims of the Lockerbie bombing. Guess you can buy your way outta anything. Yo MoMo…give Senator Stevens a call…he’s gonna need help.


(8.-)

Wizzed

Dan Wetzel, writing for Yahoo Sports had this to say about the Wiz drafting former Wolf Pack hoopster JVMcG:

LOSER
WASHINGTON

The Wizards can’t get out of the first round of the playoffs and it’s not easy to see how this draft changes that trend. They took JaVale McGee out of Nevada to help inside, but he looks like one of those classic draft mistakes.
McGee is 7-feet tall with a 7-foot-6 wingspan. Against moderate competition in the Western Athletic Conference, he averaged just 7.8 rebounds a game. It’s counterintuitive to think a big man who can’t rebound against smaller opponents in college will start doing it against bigger players in the NBA. This rarely works.

YIKES! We said when he left school it was gonna be a mistake. No one listened. If you can't lead your team to a championship in the sorry-assed WAC Conference, you'll never do it in the big show. Now JVMcG is getting hammered in the national press. He’s gonna spend the next two years picking splinters out of his pooter rather than learning how to play the game under coach Mark Fox. Yo JVMcG…Good luck and be careful in the Cap. Remember how the team used to be called the Bullets? Well, the fans are all packin’ heat now!

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Fox Trot

Last week Nevada hoops fans dodged a bullet when Cal hired Mike Montgomery as their new head coach.

But the bullets are still flying. Former Pack head coach Trent Johnson is leaving Stanford and is headed off to coach the Bayou Bengals. You know what that means?

Mark Fox is outta here faster than a Metamucil milkshake goes through John McCain.



Guess that's two asses getting hit with the exit doors out the 775.

We'll lay 2-1 odds that coach Fox is headed west by the end of the month. Hell...we'll lay 3-1 he's outta here by the end of the week.

No worries though, Pack fans. Next in the big chair...another ass-kicking coach.


Go Pack!




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Mommie Dearest

Call him what you will – Little Mac…Baby “J”…Doc Hollywood – but don’t call him a Nevada basketball player anymore. That’s right. JaVale McGee, smoother than a Brazilian bikini line, took his mama’s advice and will now take his game to the bank.



Those in the know have pegged McGee to go in the middle of the first round. That’s instant millionaire turf there but that’s as far as things could go for him. Nevada basketball players have fared poorly in the big show recently -- Fuzzy…Sesh…Kirk – none making any impact for their teams (if they’re on a team at all) and all soon to be working with the rest of us shmos, punching a timecard and shleppin’ ‘til 5p rolls around.



The difference between them and Nevada’s newest defector is that they actually won something – you know, like conference championships, NCAA Tournament games, those kinds of things. JV never won diddly. He was a good follower, not so good a leader. Sure, he’d get his stats – HIS stats – but his teams, as a whole, were underachievers. The older JV got, the more he read his clippings…the more he believed them…the less his team won.



He’ll get his spot on the end of someone’s bench next year. He’ll learn quickly about lawyers, baby-mommas and scam artists. He’ll put in his two (or three…or one) and then he’ll be done, just like the rest of ‘em. What he’s gonna miss out on is the opportunity to grow as a player, as a leader, as a winner. No, he’ll be pickin’ splinters outta his ass next year – wearing the same old hang-dog expression -- like someone just kneed him in the cojones – leaving Nevada fans wondering what one more year would have taught him...and given us.



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Sloppy Seconds

It looks like the powers that be wanna get another shot (pun intended) at the University of Houston. After the Cougars handed us our asses the other day, we're not sure this is a good idea.


Playing another game against a mid-major team that didn't make the NCAA Tournament is like getting a divorce, going out to the Bunny Ranch and hooking up with your ex-wife. Been there, done that.


Yo Wolf Pack Hoops...more games against teams who actually made the Big Dance and fewer games against the scrubs.



(8.-)

Losing to Ron Mexico State

Nothin’ puts a skidmark on a party quicker than an “L”. All night Friday we were dipping nachos of hope into the salsa of naïveté. Talkin’ trash. Downin’ shots of hubris with chasers of audacity. Pimped out in our silver and blue, we thought we would win. We were wrong.


But after a few days of denial, anger, bargaining, depression then, finally, acceptance, we had an epiphany. Remember when Wolf Pack basketball sucked? Remember when making the conference tournament was a big deal? We’ve come a long way from those days baby. Now, when we don’t make the Big Dance, it hurts. It hurts more than we could have ever imagined and that’s good. We’re not wannabe’s anymore. We’re a full-fledged basketball school. That’s why missing the tourney makes us wanna sneeze in agony and blow the snot of remorse into the hankie of sorrow.


Got that “Little General?” Nevada is no longer a football school. Posting a mediocre record and losing a “Who Cares” bowl to the East Westchester Northstars (champions of the Southern Conference) just doesn’t cut it anymore. We’re all about the hoops now, baby. We wanna dance with the stars. Alas, not this year.


We did think we’d get into the N.I.T (Not Invited to the Tournament). Nope. Fate is cruel to hoops schools. No…we got the invite to the C.B.I. (Coulda Been In) Tournament. “Houston…Hello!” That’s cool with us. ‘Cause we remember when…and it ain’t gonna be like that no mo’. Nevada is all about the hoops now.


(8.-)

Luuuuke....Use The Force

WOO HOO!!! We don't get many blue-chippers here in the 775 and when we do, it's almost impossible to keep 'em. Not this time. Studlier-than-thou power forward Luke Babbitt nixed his verbal to OSU and decided to play for the Silver and Blue. Don't think it's important? Don't really care? Check this...with Cool Hand Luke plying his trade at THE U of N...you can add a couple o' million more dollars flowin' into campus coffers and maybe even a couple of more NCAA Tournament wins. Major coup for Fox & Friends. Huzzah...it's a great day to be among the Wolf Pack faithful!

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