Showing posts with label Minnie Mouse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Minnie Mouse. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Donald...DUCK!


Here at PTB we’re not necessarily anti-religion – anyone who wants to believe in an Invisible Man in the Sky…more power to you. After all, that’s what America is about…we can believe in anything we want and the Government-Cheese (for the most part) has to STFU. No, what gets our Underoos in a bunch is the hypocrisy and the overall BSC things people do in the name of religion…just ask Leo DaVinci.



A couple of days back, Saudi Arabian cleric Sheik Muhammad Munajid was pissed. He was so mad, in fact, that he issued a fatwa. We never could understand how men of God could give out death sentences like they were hors d’oeuvre samplers at WalMart but we digress…



Munajid asked his followers to kill what he described as “one of Satan’s soldiers.” Cool…we always wondered who Beelzebub’s Rambo was…for a time we just figured it was George W. Bush. Alas, we were wrong. But who could be the big bad bringer of evil and what could he have done to get an invitation to take a dirt nap? Munajid issued his fatwa against…wait for it…wait for it…



Mickey Mouse. SHEESH!



According to the Sheik, everything Mickey touches becomes impure. He went on to say that under Sharia law, “Both household mice and their cartoon counterparts must be killed.” Now, we understand needing to control rodents in and around the house. No one wants to wake up with the Hantavirus. But you don’t need a fatwa for that…just buy a cat. But Mickey Mouse? The only thing less dangerous than Mickey is the Russian Army. Sure, that squeaky voice is enough to drive anyone crazy and those red pants are WAY gay but to issue a fatwa? Puh-leeze. Yo Sheik…grab a clue. If you don’t like Mickey Mouse, don’t send your minions on a suicide mission…just grab the remote and turn off the fuckin’ T.V. That’ll make things easy on all of us. Especially Minnie.




(8.-)

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Happiness is a Warm Gun





Goofy with an Uzi? Looks like the Happiest Place on Earth just got a bit happier.


Here at PTB we love our guns. We pack heat. We think EVERYONE should 10-32. That’s why we’re not too worried that tighty-righties in the Sunshine State want employees of Disney World to be able to CARRY GUNS.

Two reasons:


First, anyone who’s ever worked with kids knows that the little buggers could use a good wingin’ now and then. Brings new meaning to the term “time out”. We’re not talking ‘bout poppin’ a cap in little Billy, but if the little raggamuffin kicks Donald Duck in the shin again…POW!



And secondly, just think, no one will ever want to commit a crime at DW ever again. Why? ‘Cause if you were the guy that got shot by Minnie Mouse…you wouldn’t last a minute in the slam. You’d be the laughingstock of your cell block. Now that’s what we call a deterrent.



We kid though…Dis-ployees WOULDN'T be able to carry weapons into the park. They’d have to leave ‘em in their cars. Opponents point out that lots of people get capped by someone who got angry, went back to their car and got a gun. Florida State Representative Stan Mayfield defends the new law by saying that your car is an extension of your home…KEWL!



As soon as we get to DW’s parking lot, we’re gonna do the nasty in the back seat, take a wiz out of the side window, then hang our laundry to dry on the open hood. After all, that’s what we do in OUR house.


Actually, our house is really Mom & Dad’s house…we just live in the basement…but we’ll get their permission.


(8.-)