Pray Day

In case you didn’t know, every year since 1952, the President of the United States of America, Inc. has declared May 6th National Prayer Day. Worst. Idea. Ever.

“If the Gods listened to the prayers of men, all humankind would quickly perish for they constantly pray for many evils to befall one another.” – Epicurus, Greek philosopher, BC 341-270

Love me some Greek philosophy. And EZ-E has a point there.

Think about it. If the Invisible Man in the Sky REALLY answered prayers, Catholic priests could still have NAMBLA sex and no one would know about it, Sarah Palin would be President and every team would win the Super Bowl every year. Not. Gonna. Happen.

C’mon…deep down, everyone knows prayer is about as effective as voodoo. Still, the politicians give it a rusty trombone every year on this day. Today Barry-O said, “I call upon the citizens of our Nation to pray, or otherwise give thanks, in accordance with their own faiths and consciences, for our many freedoms and blessings…” Really?

Do you think B-Rock really wants Satanists to conjure up Beelzebub or Animists to give a shout out to the paving stones in their back yard? No. C’mon America, it’s the 21st Century. As long as we, as a country, wallow in these primitive, tribal, bass-ackward, rituals, we’re never gonna get our problems solved. But if we got rid of National Prayer Day, we’d be solving one problem. True story.

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Wednesday Thought Burbles

I don’t get it…some douchebag politician wants to hold Congressional hearings into why the Pentagon dis-invited Franklin Graham, Billy Graham’s, son to National Prayer Day. DAMN…doesn’t Congress have anything better to do? Yes…but that doesn’t mean they’re gonna do it. It’s all about posturing for the next election. Sad. But my question is a bit different: WTF does the Pentagon need with a National Prayer day? I don’t want my soldiers to be praying to God. I want them to be blowin’ the bejeezus outta things and killing bad guys. They should leave the praying to the chaplains…and Franklin Graham.

That oil spill out in the gulf of Mexico is now the size of West Virginia and getting bigger. It’s heading straight for Louisiana and Mississippi. Maybe Jerry Falwell was right. God is unleashing Hell on those poor folks ‘cause of all the gayness in New Orleans. Nah…Jerry Falwell has never been right. I’ll tell you one thing, this spill is gonna fuck up things for a long time. Hmmm…I wonder if Caribou Barbie can see the sunken oil rig from her house? Yo VPILF, how’s that “drill baby drill-thingy” goin for ya?

And finally today, a little bit about the Teabaggers. A lot has been written about how those tighty-righties are racist, cracker-assed-crackers. Well, we’ve got a foolproof way to find that out now. How? You’ve seen tea parties all over the place; people wavin’ signs and placards that say stuff like “No big government” and “Keep the government out of healthcare.” That stance is a civil libertarian stance and I understand it. So, why don’t you hear a peep out of the Teabaggers when it comes to the AZ’s draconian immigration law? Not a peep. If the Teabaggers don’t stand, in unison, and demand the repeal of Arizona’s immigration law, they’re nuthin’ but a bunch of hypocritical, racist, xenophobic, rat-bastards.

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