Friday, September 5, 2008

RNC Ya Later

Last night’s RNC Convention-ender is a stark reminder to anyone wanting to go into politics….learn to read a TelePrompter. If you don’t, you risk looking like a skeevy, creepy old perv. Just ask Senator McSame. But while most peeps were watchin’ the convention on networks like MSNBC, CNN or Faux News…we were watchin’ it all on C-Span. The difference? No bobbleheads…no spin…no commercials…wall-to-wall uninterrupted coverage. It’s what we like to say is: “balls to the wall.”

So, if you weren’t watchin’ C-Span, you probably missed the scariest thing to happen in quite some time. Just as the convention was ending…balloons poppin’ in the background like shots from an M-16…up walks a preacher man. As he spoke, the crowd quieted and the preacher man launched into a prayer.

He asked the Invisible Man in the Sky to watch over the Republican party and to watch over John McCain and to help the tighty-righties win the election. Oh yeah…and don’t forget to watch over our troops. That got us thinkin’…which party does JZeus support? Do you think it’s the Republican Party? We demonstrate with haiku…

Kill ‘em in Iraq
Revenge for 9-11
Osama’s not there.

Right-wing war machine
Russia, Iran, Syria
WTF is next?

Tax cuts for the rich
Let the poor folks help themselves
Get a job suckers!

How many houses you have?
A lot more than us.

Little guys hurtin’
Trickle-down economy
doesn’t help the poor.

Hey God, you up there?
Republicans claim you’re theirs
That, or they’re lying.