Thursday Thought Burbles

The founder and big dog over at Blackwater, Erik Prince, thinks he’s on a mission from God to rid the world of Muslims. WTH is the outrage over that? There’s more faux indignation about SoSo bein’ an “activist judge” than about this pin dick bein’ a murderer. Yo EP…you REALLY think JZeus’ Dad told you to kill Muslims? Have you ever even read the Ten Commandments? Dude…you’re about as Christian as Genghis Kahn…but you’ve got the murder and pillaging down to a tee.


If Rush Limbaugh can still joke about Slick Willie’s doodle-wanderings from back in the 90’s, I figure I’ll be able to harass Senator John “Putting the ‘Sin’ in” Ensign and Governor Mark “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina” Sanford ‘til the year 2025. Hot-damn, that’s gonna be fun!


Back here in the 775…Governor “Slim” Jim Gibbons (he also of the "wandering penis") wanted a cabinet level position and a couple hundred G's to oversee the spending of the federal stimulus money that he didn’t want in the first place! Aye caramba! Problem is, GJG is a friggin’ Republican! Aren’t they supposed to be the party of smaller government? Yo J-Dog…just be honest with yourself (and us). You’re nothing more than a political hack whose job skills will soon land you takin’ orders at the drive-thru. Good luck with that. Oh yeah...and Dawn Gibbons...the offer is still there...if you need a booty call, you know where to find me!

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Fast Start to the Work Week

Today, North Korea sentenced two American journalists to twelve years in prison for what amounts to trespassing. Aye caramba! Well, at least L’il Kim and the NoKo’s put their bad guys on trial. Americans, we just slap ‘em in Gitmo and let ‘em rot. Sad day when North Korea can claim the moral high ground on the U.S.

Today the Supreme Court ruled that “Don’t ask, don’t tell” could stay in place. Check it: You’re in a foxhole with your buddies. Y’all are taking fire from every direction. BOOM! BAM! BOOM! You’re in a fight for your life. Now, I ask you…do you really give a flyin’ rat’s ass if the other motherhubbards in the hole with you are gay or straight?

Judge Sotomayor busted her ankle on the way to D.C. today. Yo SoSo…can I sign your cast? Question: You think Newt, the Boner or Fat Boy have a well-hexed voodoo doll somewhere in their possession?

And finally today…Mondays are the most popular day to start a diet. No problem with that. If you’re one of the millions tryin’ to suppress your appetites today, we’ve got four words that’ll help. Ready? Here goes…

Susan. Boyle. Sex. Tape. YIKES!!! If that doesn’t make you lose your appetite, or, at least, make you blow chunks…you have what they call a “cast-iron stomach.”

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Supreme Being

Looks like the ‘Bamer got hisself a pick for the SCOTUS. It’s a pretty good bet that the tighty-righties are gonna get their Underoos in a bunch over the pick. But we’re gonna save ‘em the trouble of researching her past and give you the boogity boogity up front, right here. So, without further ado…a couple of things you might not have known about Supreme Court nominee -- Judge Sonia Sotomayor:



In her early years, she rode with Pancho Villa.



She isn’t even Hispanic. Her real name is Brunhilde Steinmetz-Glockenspiel.



She was one of Wilt Chamberlain’s 20,000 conquests.



Her friends nicknamed her “SoSo.”



Before going into law, she played midfield for Real Madrid.



She speaks seven different languages, none of which are Spanish.



Played rhythm guitar for Santana at Woodstock.



Wrestled in the Mexican WWE as Jurist Prudence.



She earned money for law school doing voiceover work as the Taco Bell chihuahua.



And lastly...something you didn't know about Judge Sonia Sotomator...She once sat in for Lynn Toler as a guest judge on Divorce Court.



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