Thursday, September 24, 2009

Thursday Thought Burbles


A couple of things have been bothering me lately…


I read the report just out that says teenage birth rates are higher in states that pimp themselves as “highly religious” as opposed to “heathen” states like the NV. That got me thinking.

Does JZeus’ presence in a person’s life increase fertility? And if so, how come the Pope doesn’t have any babies?

How creepy is it to doin’ the rumpity-bumpity with one of those crucifix-thingys hanging (no pun intended) on the wall in the bedroom?

And…do those huckleberries take Genesis 1:22 literally? If they do, how come they can multiply in the bedroom but they can’t add or subtract in the classroom?



Last week, a stewardess on a Boston-bound flight found a threatening note in the bathroom. The plane flipped a bitch ASAP and landed. They disembarked all the passengers and re-screened their luggage before letting ‘em take off again. Ya know…we’ve been spending billions of dollars, thousands of military lives and hundreds of thousands of civilian lives fighting the war on terror…and a fucking piece of paper brings us scurrying back behind mama’s apron strings. SHEESH! Americans have got to be the biggest pussies in the world. It looks like the “War on Terror”…ummm, sorry…the “War Against Global Extremism” is going about as good as the war on teen pregnancy. Heck-fire…next thing you know the TSA is gonna ban passengers from bringin’ Post-Its on a plane.



And finally… Samantha Elauf, a 19-year-old community college student from Tulsa, Okla., is Muslim. I know what you’re gonna say, “Someone in Oklahoma is Muslim? YIKES!” Elauf is suing Abercrombie & Fitch because they refused to hire her ‘cause she wears a hijab. A&F says it violates their “Look Policy.” Elauf says it’s religious discrimination. I say… since when is employment a “right?” If Elauf wanted to be a lifeguard, they wouldn’t let her wear a hijab either. Heck-fire…could you imagine how hard it would be to work as a hair model with a hijab? Impossible. Abercrombie & Fitch have every right to demand their employees fit their “look” and you can’t really get the “heroin chic” look wearin’ religious garments.


Hey, I’m all about religious freedom. And if Islam wants to stay rooted in the misogynistic ways of the 5th Century…so be it. But this is America and just as Samantha Elauf has the right to wear her hijab in public just as Abercrombie & Fitch has the right to not hire her. Besides…WTF would want to work at an A&F store in Oklahoma? Talk about your weird dichotomy. Having an Abercrombie & Fitch in the OK is like driving a Lamborghini in a demolition derby. “Which way to the shit-kicker aisle?” Aye caramba!


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