Thursday Thought Burbles

Yesterday we popped a cap in another Al Qaeda leader in the Af/Pak war. Question: How many "leaders" does Al Qaeda have? It seems every time we drone someone, we either kill innocent civilians or an Al Qaeda "leader." Dude was probably OBL’s limo driver. Oh wait…we’ve already Gitmo-ed that guy.

Saw skeevy Rep. Eric Cantor on television yesterday…spoutin’ on about how “Obamacare” is gonna ruin the country. Nothing new from that lie-hole. But what got me was that Cantor was wearin’ an orange tie…on ST. PATRICK’S DAY!!! Yo Eric…in my hood, wearin’ orange on St. Patrick’s day will get a cap popped right between your eyes. Better not come Teabagging here in the 775 wearin’ that crap. True dat.

While listening to yesterday’s Nevada v Wichita State men’s basketball game on the radio Ryan Radtke, the play-by-play guy, skidmarked his Underoos when this dunk happened. POSTERIZATION!!! Gotta love those radio announcers. Speaking of Wichita State…y'all know what a "Shocker" is? Do y'all realize what a “SHOCKER” is? Aye caramba!

And finally…in a Rhode Island school, they found an effigy of President Obama hanging in a classroom. Seems peeps were cheesed-off when the ‘Bamer applauded the firing of teachers in the underperforming school. Here’s the crux of the biscuit: President Obama didn't fire those teachers. President Obama didn't make those schools into "failing" schools. President Obama applauded holding teachers accountable. Is that a "hang the guy in effigy" offense? No. And to the teacher that said the effigy was part of a lesson plan, I say to you...no wonder your schools are failing. But don't worry…you can always come on out to the 775. We’ve got room for the likes of you. True story.

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Tortured Logic

Write it in stone…You can’t call yourself a Christian if you believe in torture. Period. In a story out today, evangelicals say they’re fighting their conscience about waterboarding prisoners. I know what you’re saying, “Evangelicals have a conscience?”


The spiel coming out of the lie-holes of right wing nut jobs is that a terrorist could have information of an imminent attack on America. They figure, if that’s the case, then torture the bastard to get the pertinent information. It’s called the “Jack Bauer-24” scenario. We have just one tiny problem with that…



FULL DISCLOSURE: Every time you watch “24” on FOX, we here at PTB make one million dollars!



The problem is that “24” is a goddamned television show! It has as much to do with real-life terrorism and interrogation as Reno-911 has to do with the Reno Police Department. Wait, bad example. Put it to you this way: fictionalized scenarios for television dramas have little or nothing to do with how those things would turn out in real life. It’s fiction. But the tighty-righties would have you believe that some fake-assed T.V. show is the real deal. Poppycock.



Fact: Torture doesn’t work.

Fact: Torture is a crime.

Fact: Americans torturing Muslims is a recruitment tool for al Qaeda.



So, if you consider yourself a Christian, you can't condone torture – you must condemn torture. Remember, you were taught to “turn the other cheek.” ‘Cause I’m pretty sure when JZeus said, “My cup runneth over.” He wasn’t talking about waterboarding.



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Here at PTB we love us some NBA All-Star weekend. No other sport compares. MLB has juiced-up ‘roid-ragers hitting candy-assed fastballs into Bolivia. Weak. The NFL barely shows up to play the week after the Super Bowl. Lame. The NHL’s all-star game? Fuggeddaboudit. No, we’ll take the NBA with its slam dunk contest and the three point shoot-out over that other crap any day. And this weekend is gonna be even more special. For the first time in NBA all-star history, they’re gonna have a game of H-O-R-S-E. YEE HAW!!!




As you probably already knew, H-O-R-S-E was invented by the Greeks as a way to end the siege of Troy back during the Trojan War. The Greeks got the victory when Ajax the Lesser sank a half-court hook shot and the Trojans couldn’t respond. Too bad all wars couldn’t be decided by a game of H-O-R-S-E. Hell, if that were the case, America would regain her place as the greatest country in the world. How? Barry's got game. He’d take out a can of whoopass on Kim Jong Il, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad or Fidel Castro. The 'Bamer is a flat-out baller. Besides, do you know how hard it is to shoot hoops dressed like a Taliban or al Qaeda? The friggin’ robes get in the way of everything. Besides, have you ever tried shooting a basketball while holding an AK-47? Not easy.




ANYWAY…we might not settle the world’s problems with a game of H-O-R-S-E (unless it's the 1977-1978 version)…but it sure beats the way we do things now. Hope y’all have a great weekend…we’ll be watchin’ hoops.




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Attack of the Cute and Fuzzy Bunnies

Fernley is so cold and wet, it makes Nome look like Miami Beach.


There was so much H2O down there that the Nevada National Guard activated its Jacques Cousteau Brigade.


But there’s something that disturbs us about all this. If the Government-Cheese can’t protect us from gophers…how the hell are they gonna protect us against Al Qaeda? It seems that while the county commissioners are padding their pockets with new development…they’re turning a blind eye to the needs of the infrastructure. In other words, they’re turning their backs on the citizens they're supposed to protect.


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Yer Doin' A Heckuva Job Bushie!

How IS that war on terror going you ask?


Our bestest friends in the region just declared martial law and are arresting opposition leaders. They still haven’t found OBL -- who is IN THEIR COUNTRY! Nice.


Our allies are attacking the Kurds (you remember the Kurds…they were the ones WMD’ed by Saddam Hussein) and we’re letting ‘em do it. Sweet.


The Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines have lowered their standards so much that pResident Bush would qualify for service (if he wasn’t such a chickenshit, milquetoast coward). Amen.


2007 has now become the deadliest year for American soldiers in Iraq. Uh oh.


The Taliban and Al Qaeda are as nasty as ever in Afghanistan. Still?


Congress is close to confirming the next Attorney General. He thinks torture is O.K. Doh!


The spineless Democrats won’t bring our troops home ‘til 2013 and the Republicans aren’t EVER going to get our troops home. Sigh.


If this isn’t a clusterfuck, nothing is.


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War-Torn

A member of the Iraqi Parliment gets caught hangin' with the bad guys...


while the Iraqi Government has to buy weapons from the Chinese because we don't have enough weapons to sell them ourselves.


Meanwhile, we're spending 700 BILLION dollars a year killing our brown-skinded brothers and sisters when we can least afford it.


They say they care about America. They say they care about you.
They don't. That is, unless you're Halliburton, KBR or Blackwater.


Jesus Must be spinning in His grave!


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