The Fuhrer is a Football Fan

Now that the dust has settled...a little ditty for y'all, courtesy of the Fuhrer.

Thanks for Giving, Eve

We sure hate to be a downer on the day before a holiday but SHEESH! Did you see that dude dirt napping turkeys behind VPILF Sarah Palin the other day? That video was skankier than Britney Spears’ coochie. YUCK! Makes us glad we eat pizza on Thanksgiving. We just don’t wanna see where pepperoni comes from. YIKES!



Yesterday, the RGJ headline read: “Jobless Benefits Extended for Nevadans.” It might just be the semantics of the wording but anyone who can find the benefit in being unemployed is looking at things through beer goggles.



We’ve always held the position that Islam treats its women like shit. They’ve gotta cover up from head to toe, they can’t drive and they can’t be seen in public with a man she’s not related to. Bass-ackward cave-dwelling rat-bastards. Well, it looks like things are loosening up. Yesterday a suicide bomber in Baghdad blew 13 people to smithereens. The bomber was a woman. Way to start treating women equally, douchebags. Islam better not promise women going to heaven 72 virgins. What the hell is a woman gonna do with 72 virgins? Not. Much.



A new report out there says that the Silver State needs better-educated workers. Hey, we’re all for better ed-u-ma-ca-tion, but right next to that story was the one about a proposed 25 percent tuition hike for Nevada’s colleges and universities. WTF is up with that? They say they need more educated workers then they turn around and make it financially harder for people to get into college. That sucks.



And finally today…the Little General said yesterday that if the Wolf Pack lost to La Tech this weekend but got invited to a bowl game anyway, he’d seriously consider not going. Yeah, right.


The chances of Nevada finishing 6-6? Maybe. The chances of Nevada finishing 6-6 and getting a bowl berth?...ANY bowl berth? Maybe. The chances of Chris Ault & Cary Groth declining a bowl invite...ANY bowl invite? Never. Gonna. Happen.



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Wankin' the Weekend

Ninth ranked Boise State is rollin' into town Saturday afternoon for some football.


Saturday night...Oregon State and Mickey-O's little brother come on in for some hoops.


One of the best reasons in the world to live in the 775!


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You Are What You Urp

It's not a pretty sight...Tecate & Candy Corn…so much for holiday dinners…but it gave us pause and got us to thinkin' 'bout the scariest things we saw this Halloween...



We saw Sarah Palin hangin' around...


and the guy lookin’ for Osama Bin Laden…


We ran across across Nevada's chances of gettin’ a berth in a bowl game...


and we saw the last drop of H20 in the entire friggin' 775...


Any way you look at it, there are a lot of scary things out there on All Hallows Eve. Just be careful what you put in your pie-hole when you get home. Remember...garbage in/garbage out.


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Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

We haiku about the recent trouble of one of the most famous athletes to come out of THE University of Nevada:

Tony Z - Kicker

gets the girl by drugging her.

Jocks feel entitled.

Where did you learn this?

Didn't football teach you class?

Or did you skip class?

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Thought Bubbles

Gotta get some things off the proverbial chest…


If the state of Nevada is so hard-up for money and it costs between $35,000 and $60,000 a year to house an inmate; WTF has the state only executed eight percent of inmates on death row in the past 25 years? C’mon guys…we don’t wanna be like Texas here but SHEESH! They’re on DEATH ROW for a reason! Y’all could save money by starting there.



Uh oh…we see that former Nevada football player Tony Zendejas is having a bad day. Just goes to show you…once a Wolf Pack football player, always a Wolf Pack football player. Chris Ault’s career must be spinning in its grave.



What’s the big deal watching overpaid, over-hyped, uber-ego celebrities playing in a golf tournament? It would be one thing if Tiger, Phil and Vijay were battling it out on the links but the Donald, Bread Truck and Jack Friggin’ Wagner? No. Way.



JonBenet Ramsey’s family was cleared of any suspicion in her death by coppers down in the 303. Took ya long enough Joe Friday. It’s been more than a decade and there still isn’t a suspect. You’d think they’d have figured out SOMETHING by now. You’d think…but you’d be wrong.



And finally…we knew that “Tad the Bad” couldn’t stay off the airwaves very long. The only thing bigger than his waist is his massive ego. He actually thinks he looks good on camera. UGH! The brother gives new meaning to the term “wide shot.”



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Free Association Friday

Is politician the only job where if you get divorced, bang a ‘ho or have an EMA you have to resign? Hell…even priests get to keep their jobs! We do wonder though, how you can keep your Government-Cheese gig after gettin’ busted for trolling for gay sex in an airport bathroom.


Everyone’s gettin’ their Underoos in a twist over Scotty Mac’s new book. There’s nothin’ in there we didn’t already know. But notice how critics of the book are raggin’ on Scottie Mac the person while ignoring revelations that Chimp-Dick, Dr. Evil and Scooter are guilty of treason? We’ve gotta say…if this pResident was a Democrat, they’d have opened up a can of impeaches on his ass long ago.


WTF? A tent city in the Biggest Little City? If we’re the greatest country in the world, how the fuck come we’ve got homeless people livin’ in tents? We wonder…would JZeus rather spend a billion dollars a month bombin’ brown-skinded brothers or helping the homeless?


Four arrests in one weekend. Looks like the Wolf Pack football team is in mid-season form already.


We don’t quite get WTF is up with all this Sex and the City hype. We’ve read everything we could about the hoopla surrounding the new flick. The motherhubbard should be re-titled Clothes and the City” ‘cause we couldn’t find sex anywhere. What a ripoff.


Speakin’ ‘bout SatC…if you spend $400 on a pair of shoes or $500 for a purse or $1,000 for a dress…you’ve got some really messed up priorities.


The First Lady is accusing the Governor of having a girlfriend and he’s denying it. Now, we know what you’re thinkin’, “Is there really a heterosexual republican politician out there?” Yo Gov., just cop to the fact that you’re puttin’ tab “A” into slot “B” and let’s move on. We wanna get to the juicy stuff.


We didn’t know this, but here in the 775 you can get a citation for “failing to carry out your duties as a parent.” WTF is up with that? Is there a list of parental duties somewhere? Are we gonna cite parents of obese kids for letting poor Suzie and Bobby eat at Mickey-D's? Are we gonna cite parents who let their kids listen to gangsta rap? Can you say “overkill”?


And lastly today…wildfires in the 775 are getting bigger and more dangerous. No. Duh. Wanna know why? ‘cause more and more people are building their houses in the middle of the forest. When a fire hits, we all drop trow and stamp the motherhubbard out. That leaves more schizzle to burn the next time ‘round. Forest fires are nature’s way of thinning things out. When we interfere, things get worse. Question: Who put out Tahoe forest fires back in the days of Ben, Hoss and little Joe? Answer: No one. And it all worked out fine for them.

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Losing to Ron Mexico State

Nothin’ puts a skidmark on a party quicker than an “L”. All night Friday we were dipping nachos of hope into the salsa of naïveté. Talkin’ trash. Downin’ shots of hubris with chasers of audacity. Pimped out in our silver and blue, we thought we would win. We were wrong.


But after a few days of denial, anger, bargaining, depression then, finally, acceptance, we had an epiphany. Remember when Wolf Pack basketball sucked? Remember when making the conference tournament was a big deal? We’ve come a long way from those days baby. Now, when we don’t make the Big Dance, it hurts. It hurts more than we could have ever imagined and that’s good. We’re not wannabe’s anymore. We’re a full-fledged basketball school. That’s why missing the tourney makes us wanna sneeze in agony and blow the snot of remorse into the hankie of sorrow.


Got that “Little General?” Nevada is no longer a football school. Posting a mediocre record and losing a “Who Cares” bowl to the East Westchester Northstars (champions of the Southern Conference) just doesn’t cut it anymore. We’re all about the hoops now, baby. We wanna dance with the stars. Alas, not this year.


We did think we’d get into the N.I.T (Not Invited to the Tournament). Nope. Fate is cruel to hoops schools. No…we got the invite to the C.B.I. (Coulda Been In) Tournament. “Houston…Hello!” That’s cool with us. ‘Cause we remember when…and it ain’t gonna be like that no mo’. Nevada is all about the hoops now.


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Bowling For Dollars

In the heady days of yester-yore, Nevada football was king. Saturday afternoons filled with beer and girls and W’s. Late autumn cornucopias filled with conference championships, playoff intensity and more beer. The “Biggest Little City” boasted the bestest little football team in the country and kicked some 1-AA buttocks.





Then the “Little General” got a swollen ego and decided to play with the big boys. Gone were the championships, gone were the playoffs, gone were the W’s…replaced only by a budget that resembles the GDP of a medium-sized South American country and bottom-of-the-barrel bowl games. The Las Vegas Bowl? The Hawaii Bowl? The MPC Bowl? The New Mexico Bowl? SHEESH!





With all that money spent improving athletic facilities, you’d think the Wolf Pack could replicate the successes of rivals like Fresno State, Hawaii and Boise State. Not so. While the big three of the WACked Conference regularly party at upper-tier bowls, Nevada's Wolf Pack brings new meaning to the term "mediocrity." We'd rather be big fishes in a small pond rather than sleeping with the fishes in the big one.





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