Tuesday, May 5, 2009

London Calling

Ah, Great Britain. The land that gave us

King Arthur

King George

Boy George

John, Paul, Ringo and George…have given us a WTF moment we won’t soon forget. When you think of sexy Europeans, the Brits aren’t usually on the radar. You can blame that on The Big Book of British Smiles or Queen Victoria…but that’s the crux of another biscuit.
But it seems that the outwardly uptightness of the Brits is just a cover.

Last weekend a couple of British lovebirds strolled up to the grounds outside Windsor Castle and started doin’ the rumpity-bumpity in plain view of everybody. YOW! Several Japanese tourists in the area got their memory sticks full before the Bobbies rolled up and told the couple to stop. Here’s where it gets weird:

The couple was arrested, released and given a “written warning about outraging public decency.” A written warning. A FRIGGIN’ WRITTEN WARNING! Heck-fire, a written warning is something you get when you’re late for chemistry class or when you get pulled over for a burned out tail light.

If this would have happened in the USo’A, the PoPo would have perp-walked the motherhubbards to jail and given ‘em a “Rudy in the Booty.” Then they’d get convicted and be branded sex-offenders for the rest of their lives. In Great Britain they give written warnings. Bummer. Even the British aren’t as zealously puritanical as Americans.

Junior: “Look, mommy…it’s Big Ben!”
Mommy: “No Junior…Big Ben is a clock tower. That’s a towering cock.”

Just thinking about inserting Tab ”A” into Slot ”B” scares the bejeezus out of Americans. The Brits? Not so much. Queen Victoria must be spinning in her grave. But then again, she always was a bit of a spinner.