Shooting Blanks

Back in the day, the “King of All Righties,” Ronald Reagan, was hell-bent on building a missile defense system. The media dubbed it “Star Wars.” It was a quick and easy way for Uncle Ronnie to line the pockets of his defense contractor buddies. It was the expansion of the military/industrial complex, just like Ike said.

Fast forward to earlier this year. Tighty-righties, intent on undercutting anything the ‘Bamer suggested, were skidmarking their Underoos because President Barry-O wanted to scrap Bush-era plans for the same type of MDS. “He’s soft on National Security,” they screamed. “He’ll get us all killed,” they blathered. Turns out…as usual…the right-wing nut cases were wrong.

Earlier this week, the Russkies test launched a new, long-range missile – just the type of weapon Star Wars and its descendents were supposed to protect us from. You wanna know what happened? POOF! For the seventh time in twelve tries, the Red Enemy failed to get their missile to work right. That’s less than a fifty percent success rate.

Now, you won’t hear any mea culpas from the boogity boogity crowd. That’s not how they roll. But remember this…the Republicans will do anything to get reelected. They’ll make up facts and twist words and pervert ideas and try to scare the bejeezus outta people all for their own electoral gain. that's how they roll. It worked for a while but Americans are wising up to that charade. Here’s hoping that in the 2010 and 2012 election cycles, those tactics work just as well as the new Russian missles. Then, the only defense system we’ll need is the vote.

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Persian Missile Crisis

King George warned us about the “pussification of America.” Ike warned us about the “military-industrial complex.” Here’s an example of both:

Yesterday, a charter member of the “Axis of Evil” tested a couple of missiles. Poor little things. They’ve got a range as far as a Hummer on half tank of gas and can’t carry anything heavier than a supermodel’s butt cheek but the tighty-righties are goin’ ballistic (pun intended) over the perceived threat to Israel. Well folks, it’s all crap.

Full disclosure: We here at PTB love us some Persians. When we were matriculating up at THE University of Nevada, there were more Iranian exchange students per capita than any other college in the USofA. Besides, have you seen their women? Aye Caramba! Anyway…


It seems that the Bush-Wipes are skid marking their Underoos in an attempt to get a missile defense shield up and working in Eastern Europe. They’re so scared right now you can hear their teeth chattering and they’re trying to scare the bejeezus out of the rest of America too. Why? ‘Cause when the bad guys rattle a few sabers, the majority of Americans start whimpering like lost puppies. Friggin’ wusses.

Face the facts folks, Iran is gonna get nukes and we can’t stop ‘em. How do we know? Our military is FUBAR, we’ve got no scratch and our worldwide cred hangs at the same level as Burkina Faso. Besides, what gives us the right to tell another country that they can’t have nuclear energy/nuclear weapons? You say that the Iranians are state-sponsors of terror? Ask a Nicaraguan or a Venezuelan or an Angolan what superpower funds THEIR terrorists. You got it…we do. So much for the high moral ground.

You say we need to protect Israel? You’re kidding, right? Israel doesn’t need our protection. Hell, they’ve got one of the top armies in the world. They’re loaded with battle-hardened vets and state-of-the-art weapons systems. If Iran wants to pick a fight with Israel, they’ll get their asses handed to ‘em. Just ask Syria, Egypt and Jordan. SPANK! Israel v. Iran would look a lot like Hagler v. Hearns (Iran being Tommy Hearns). No Israel will be just fine on her own.

No, the reason the neo-con fascist turd blossoms are making such a stink is so they can put more and more of your hard-earned money into the pockets of Raytheon, Halliburton, General Dynamics and the rest of their corporate buddies. So while they let healthcare and education and infrastructure rot to shit, their fat-cat buddies roll in the dough. All the while, Americans follow like sheep. Like King George said, “As long as Americans have cell phones that can make pancakes, they don’t give a shit about the rest of the world.” Sad but true.

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