Rag Arm

Normally we don’t go back-to-back with subjects here at PTB. But the Iraqi shoe dude was even funnier than when Chimp-Dick almost died from an attack by snack food. It was so friggin’ hilarious it got us to thinkin’…

The dumbass missed twice at close range. Now the Red Sox want to sign him to counter all the money the Yankees gave pitchers C.C. Sabathia and AJ Burnett.

No wonder Bush hates the media…Helen Thomas woulda KILLED him with one of her shoes! Good thing Bob Lanier wasn’t in the crowd.

Think about it…shoe-dude, in his whole life, was probably picked last for dodgeball every time. GWB, on the other hand played a lot of dodgeball during and after college. It was either dodgeball or Vietnam. Now you know.

Betcha we could pay off the national debt, bail out the banking, the insurance and the auto industry if we offer everyone in the USo’A the opportunity to throw their shoe at pResident Bush for a dollar. We’d pay a couple of bucks to toss our Chuck Taylors.

We noticed the shoe dude was wearing the latest Nike Air Amman, Jordans.

A Muslim's worst insult to a person is to show the bottom of his/her shoes/feet…Worst insult to an Irishman? Running outta beers then takin’ away the friggin’ keys!

Ever wonder how things would be different today if Lee Harvey Oswald woulda used a shoe?

(8.-)

Shoe Fly

In the Islamic world there's no bigger insult than someone hitting you with a shoe. It's their version of flipping someone the bird. Remember what the Iraqis did to Saddam Hussein's statue? YIKES! Over the weekend an Iraqi journalist tossed not one, but two shoes at pResident Bush. Guess he was thanking Chimp-Dick for all we've done for his country. Just think of it...if that brown-skinded brother had any taste in footwear, G-Dub woulda been JFK'd by a red Prada stiletto. They could call 'em "Go Fuck Yourself" Pumps. Hell of a way to go.


(8.-)

Must Be Monday

Bookies from Down Under are holding back payin’ the folks who bet the ‘Bamer would be the next Commander-In-Chief of the USofA. They say he could get JFK’d before he’s inaugurated. SHEESH! Talk about puttin’ a noonan on the guy. Look, there a lot of BSC, redneck, huckleberries out there and you know they wanna stir the shit. But if the powers that be can’t protect the President from some wack-job, why are they there in the first place? Besides…if someone wanted to wax a U.S. President, they’d have knocked off Chimp-Dick. Worst. President. Ever.





Good to see political observers here in the 775 thinkin’ that VPILF Sarah Palin has a bright future in the Republican Party. YEE HAW! Now, y’all know we love the ladies here at PTB -- best thing the Good Lord ever made. But if Caribou Barbie is the best female the tighty-righties can come up with, they’re in deep doo doo. C’mon guys… she didn’t know what countries made up NAFTA, she thought Africa was a country and she thought foreign policy experience was seeing Russia out her back door. YIKES! The Republican Party has officially become the party of dolts. Ronald Reagan must be spinning in his grave.



And finally today…we’ve gotta give credit where credit is due. Over the weekend THE University of Nevada put a tub-thumpin’ on Fresno State. The way the Wolf Pack played Saturday, you’d think they could beat the friggin' Pittsburgh Steelers. But that’s the problem we’ve always had with the Pack…one week they look like world-beaters, the next week...just weak. Consistency is the key for a good football program. Here’s hoping we get more of it. After all…it’s much better to be playing a bowl game between Christmas and New Years than to be playing in a bowl the week before Thanksgiving.



(8.-)

Thursday Thought Bubbles

VPILF Sarah Palin is prepping for tonight’s battle with Joey the Shark by goin’ to…get this…GOP Debate Camp. WTF do they teach you there? How to confuse Shiite and Sunni? How to pee with a wide stance? The proper display and disposal of flag pins? Or maybe you learn how weather patterns are affected by gay sex. Either way, we’re looking forward to the debate more than a Rastafarian looking forward to the first spliff after a urine test.





One more thought on the VPILF. The other day she was asked if she knew of any SCOTUS decisions she disagreed with besides Roe v Wade. She couldn’t think of one. Here at PTB our most hated decision is Santa Clara County v. Southern Pacific Railroad, but we’re civics geeks. Hell, wanna bet if she was asked which SCOTUS decisions she agreed with, she couldn’t come up with one of those either? Guess now we know what Dan Quayle would have looked like with boobs.



Number nerds have figured that Barack Obama is more likely to live out his presidential term than John McCain. Hmmm…think so? The slide rule smarty pants suggest McCain’s age and health make him a prime candidate to take a dirt nap while in office. We disagree. As soon as the ‘Bamer moves in to the White House the clock is ticking. Bass-ackward, redneck, inbred, hillbilly crackers will be lining up to JFK him. There’s nothing whitey hates more than a successful brown-skinded brother. Well, maybe a successful woman.




How come when Heath Ledger, the creepy Olsen Twin, Rush Limbaugh, Heather Locklear and their ilk get busted with ‘scripts, no one gets charged with a crime but when Snowboarding Spicoli gets caught with the kind on his way to Burning Man he gets Abu Ghraibed? Just asking.




Closer to home…The Environmental Protection Agency says that Yucca Mountain has to be designed to protect against excessive radiation exposure to residents of the 702 for up to…wait for it…a million years. SHEESH! Who’s gonna be around if the motherhubbard starts leaking in 3008? That’s only a thousand years. Heck, the EPA can’t even make sure FEMA trailers are free of asbestos. How’re they gonna pull this off?




Finally…y’all know we love our dogs here at PTB. In the Sunshine State our counterpart is Greg LeNoir. Last week GLeN was swimming with his rat terrier when Jaws III popped in from out of nowhere and started doin’ the reverse McGruff. Seeing his pup turning into a taste test, GLeN jumped in and pulled an Ali on the fish. BAM! Down goes Frazier! Human and canine came out of it with minor scratches…the shark reportedly wants a rematch down in ‘Vegas.




(8.-)

The Dan Quayle Defense

On the 45th anniversary of Bobby K getting BobbyK’d we look to the future of another young, handsome, charismatic leader.

Here in the USofA ‘08…there are millions of crackers out there whose worst nightmare is about to happen…President Barack Hussein Obama. YEEE HAWWWW! If you read us here at PTB on a regular basis, you know we called the Dem race for the ‘Bamer long ago (there’s still time for Ron Paul) and now that he’s made it, the talk turns toward his running mate.

Now, a lot of people are pushing Hillary Clinton for the number two slot and we think it’s a good idea. Why? Well, there are a lot of right-wing jihadists out there who are skidmarking their dungarees ‘cause a brown-skinded brother is gonna be President. So, if the ‘Bamer picks Whitey to be V.P., you’d better believe those BSC motherhubbards would JFK him in a New York minute.

But the thing that scares the bejeezus out of righty-whitey is Hillary and Bill Clinton back in the White House. Think about it…if Hill Bill Vol.2 is a heartbeat away from the presidency, the LAST thing the bad guys would want is for something to happen to the ‘Bamer. Heck-fire…if Hillary was the V.P., the Klan would probably volunteer to help the Secret Srervice keep the Prez safe. So c’mon BO…think of what’s best for you and the country…pick Hillary. Best. VP. Ever.

@:

:@