The Friend of My Enemy

Daimler-Benz built Nazi tanks to kill Americans...but the Germans are our friends now, so it’s O.K. to drive a Benzo.

Mitsubishi built Japanese Zeros to kill Americans... but the Japanese are our friends now, so it’s O.K. to drive a Montero.

Fiat made airplanes for Mussolini so his troops could kill Americans… the Italians are our friends now, so it’s O.K. to drive one of those little foreign penis extensions.

See a trend?

Thousands of my brothers and sisters died fighting communist China in the Korean War and Vietnamese communists in the Vietnam War. Today China and Vietnam are our friends. Why? They’re still communists, right? They are our “friends” because they let American companies do business in their countries. Seems communism is good, as long as they let American capitalists make money in their country. Seems we’ll fight anyone for the right to exploit their resources. Don’t let us in and you’re on the shit list...I’m talkin’ to you Cuba!

Why do you think the U.S. puts up with BSC motherhubbards like Saudi Arabia, Israel and Pakistan? Because they let our corporations make money off of them. Americans haven’t fought a war for the right reasons since WWII. Since then, all the fighting has been for the wrong reasons. Gives me hope, though. If the Taliban would just let McDonalds or WalMart or BofA do business with ‘em, we’d be their BFF’s. Time will tell.

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Just Being Social (ist)

Here in the USo’A, we’ve socialized our military. After all, fighting the Brits, or the Krauts, or the Commies, or whoever is in the Enemy of the Month Club is a function so important; we need the juice of the Government to get the job done right.

Do you think Blackwater could do a better job than the US Army? I don’t.

We’ve socialized law enforcement. Catching perps and tossin’ ‘em in the Gray Bar Motel is such an important function that we’ve given the Government-Cheese the task of keeping us safe from the baddies. You know who I’m talkin’ ‘bout: Shopkeepers who sell alcohol to minors, ‘ho’s, stoners, college kids illegally downloading music…you know really bad guys.

Do you think Paul Blart or 21 Jump Street can do a better job than The real PoPo? I don’t.

I t just seems to me that if our safety, our security and our protection is so important to us that we have to trust the government to do it, why isn’t the health of our children that important too? How ‘bout the health and welfare of millions of senior citizens and people living in poverty? How ‘bout our own health? Change the system? The smart ones say HELL YES! The government can't be as bad as private companies. The airheads who spout right-wing talking points say HELL NO! After all, the government wouldn’t do nearly as good a job as big pharma, the health insurance industry or corporate, for-profit hospital chains.

Hell, and I always thought we had a government of the people for the people and by the people. Maybe we could just let big business run the government too? Oh yeah, I forgot…they already do. SHEESH!

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Why WE Fight

A lot of our friends on the right side of the aisle read PTB and call us “Commie-Pinko Socialists.” Our friends on the left side of the aisle read PTB and call us fascist. Actually, it’s neither. What we try to do here, is find the right in all the wrongs and point ‘em both out. Today, however, it’s just the wrong.

We can all agree…

Hitler was a prick…

Saddam Hussein was a prick with a slightly bigger porn 'stache…

Manuel Noriega was a fat prick with bad skin…

And Agusto Pinochet was a South American prick extraordinaire.

What does that have to do with us?



The ‘Bamer’s Administration announced today that they’re not gonna prosecute CIA agents involved in torturing captives at Gitmo. WTF is up with that? It used to be that the USo’A had the moral high ground to pronounce judgments on rat-bastards like Hitler et al., but not anymore. Now we’ve joined the ranks of the pricks too because America TORTURES people!



Now, before y’all go red white and blue in the face about this, just think of this…


Many Americans consider this a “Christian” nation (mostly our Christians but that’s the crux of a different biscuit). What we’re getting at is this: If America is indeed a Christian nation, WTF are we doing torturing people? Although a better question might be…Does the Invisible Man in the Sky condone torture? No, he doesn’t. But America tortures and lets the perps get away with it. That kind of attitude makes us just the same as the bat-shit crazy motherhubbards mentioned above. Christian nation? Hell no. And every time someone says we are, JZeus starts spinning in His grave.



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Money Kills

If you think about it...the USofA hasn't won a war since 1945. Korea? Nope, the commies are still there. Vietnam? Commies are still there too.

How 'bout the war on teen pregnancy? Lost. Have you seen the Maury Show lately? "You are NOT the father!"

The war against poverty? Not in this economy. The war against illiteracy? Nope. Heck, half the people reading today's post don't even know what the word illiterate means!

The war on terror? Puh-leze. The Bush-Wipes wouldn't know a terrorist if one bit 'em in the ass. Heck, the presumptive Republican nominee for president doesn't even know the difference between Sunni and Shia.

No...we've been getting our hats handed to us on many fronts and the latest is in the war on drugs. Seems that out of all the currencies in the world, more cocaine is found on US dollar bills than on any other country's money. WOO HOO!!! WE'RE NUMBER ONE!!!

The crux of today's biscuit is simple: Drugs should be legalized. All drugs. Nicotine and alcohol are legal and they're two of the most harmful substances out there. Why are they legal? 'Cause tighty-righties make lots of cash selling the stuff. Who makes money off of sellin' Mary Jane and blow? Brown-skinded brothers. See what we mean? If you're gonna let people smoke cigars and cigarettes and if you're letting them drink alcohol, you've got no right to tell 'em what they CAN'T imbibe. Don't believe us?

High Fructose Corn Syrup is some of the worst stuff you can do, yet millions of Americans O.D. on the stuff every day. Cocaine was LEGAL in the U.S. 'til 1914. That means the American Revolution, the War of 1812, the Mexican-American War, the Civil War and the Spanish American War were all fought while cocaine was legal. Think any of those brothers were under the influence? Bet on it. Did it hurt 'em? Doesn't look like it.

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Stack 'Em All...Let God Sort 'Em Out

Anyone remember Lynndie England? Anyone? Bueller? Well, here at PTB our memories are longer than John Holmes’ woody…we remember.



Pfc. England is the moon-faced cherub who gets off stackin’ men “Giza” style. Yeah, she likes her some nude Twister -- tokin’ on a ciggy, pointin’ and smirkin that BSC little smirk of hers. She’s the kind of pervert that tiddles her thingy at night while fantasizing about abusing “towelheads.”
Just when you thought Pfc.E’s fifteen minutes had come and gone she’s back. Earlier this week she was coppin’ a ‘tude when she told a German newspaper that, “…what we did happens in war. It just isn't documented,".”



She’s got a point there but that kind of stuff should never happen at the hands of an American soldier. That might be how the Nazis rolled or how the commies rolled or how WWII Japan rolled but that’s not how we roll. That’s why you were a guest of the government at the Gray Bar Motel.



She went on to blame the media for the shit-storm, “…I felt pissed off,” she said. “If the media hadn't exposed the pictures to that extent, then thousands of lives would have been saved. If it had been broken by the news without the pictures it wouldn't have been that big." Talk about killing the messenger.
So, in her twisted logic, if the network news wouldn’t have showed the towers coming down on 9/11, it wouldn’t have been as big a deal. Talk about a tree falling in the forest…SHEESH!



Listen up you bass-ackward, uneducated, redneck…what you did (and what we’re STILL doing) to those prisoners in Abu Ghraib is torture, it is un-American and it is wrong (Are you listening Bush-Wipes?). The media did what the media is supposed to do – report the story. None of this happened because of the media. It happened because you and your cronies are immature, skeevy, abusive, power-trippin’, sadists. That’s the kind of behavior that pisses off the bad guys!



Look, you can nude pyramid all you like in the privacy of your own whatever. But when you’re wearin’ the uniform of the United States Army, your reprehensible conduct should be dealt with harshly. Like strippin’ YOU nude and stackin’ y’all in a pile. We’d pay to see that.


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Dictator in a Polo Shirt

Jeez…you’d think the O-Bamer said he’d give a hummer to OBL the way people have been jumping in his grill. All he said was that he’d talk to the bad guys. We’ll tell you right now…the bourgie motherhubbards that are ragging on the big “O” have NEVER been in a street fight. How do we know? ‘Cause anyone who has ever kicked the crap out of someone else (or had their own asses handed to ‘em) feels pretty silly afterward. Hell, with any sense of decency or morality, they probably feel really shitty. Just like your second grade teacher said, “Fighting never solved anything.”


Here’s the crux of the biscuit: Bush-Wipe was playing kissy-face with the COMMUNIST President of Vietnam earlier this year. Remember Vietnam? How many lives were uselessly lost fighting the very same communists we’re sucking up to right now?

China is America’s biggest trading partner. Remember fighting Communist Chinese and Koreans in the Korean War? How many lives were uselessly lost fighting the very same communists we’re sucking up to right now?

When Michael Moore went to Cuba while shooting “Sicko,” the Government-Cheese got their panties in a tweak because of the embargo against doing business there. Just a month earlier, Matt and his fivehead was in Cuba shooting a segment for the “Today Show”. Not a peep. Why? ‘Cause you can deal with ANY rat-bastard dictator if you’re a long-time politician or hosting a high-profile TV show. But, if you’re a Hollywood liberal, a democrat or a newbie you’re SOL.

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