Smooshed

So…Haiti got flattened like a pancake. YIKES! Question: Why is the Invisible Man in the Sky always pissin’ on poverty-stricken brown-skinnded brothers? Early estimates are between a hundred grand and a quarter million people D.O.A. If any of y’all have a deity, now’d be the time to give Him or Her a call.

So…Brit Hume thinks Tiger Woods needs more JZeus in his life. Hume says Christianity is the best religion in the world to get forgiveness for a wandering doodle. Must be. Just ask John “Able Semen” Ensign. The Britster has been taking flak for his comments and Bill O’Reilley has come to the rescue. I a column the other day, B.O. said that Hume has every right to “espouse what he believes.” True dat. But just as Brit Hume has the right to blather on about his religious beliefs, we have a right to point out what a douchebag he is.

And lastly…it seems China is pimpin’ kid’s jewelry that is made out of cadmium. You know cadmium…that’s the fucked up stuff that causes cancer. Seems China has been making the stuff and exporting it to us. Question: Why do we still buy this kind of crap from China? Oh yeah…so WalMart can keep their prices low. Thanks a fucking lot China.

@:
:@

Home Groan

Like a lot of cities around the country, the RNO has some mondo budget problems. One of the solutions to save money was to lay off 19 firefighters. But last night several firefighters and their wives went to the City Council to plead their case. They talked about how devastated their families would be if daddy got a pink slip. They talked about how firefighters are heroes who don’t deserve this kind of treatment. After IAFF 731 decided to forego a couple of raises, the city caved and the firefighters got to keep their gigs. Question: Would any other city employee get the same break if their families lobbied the city council? No. So now instead trying to spread the pain evenly across the spectrum, the council has decided that firefighters are untouchable. Don’t you wish all workers had those kind of rights?

Monday night Letterman was makin’ hella fun of VPILF Sarah Palin and her fam. Some of his jokes were pretty crude but nothing outta the ordinary. But the tighty-righties (Palin included) had themselves a conniption over it. They freaked so much that Letterman had to issue an apology (of sorts). Isn’t it funny that when Bill-O and Fat Boy incite their audience to kill abortion doctors, Muslims or anyone else they don’t agree with, it’s called “free speech.” But when a comedian calls a right-wing politician a slut he gets vilified? SHEESH!

And finally today…there have now been three terrorist attacks, on American soil, in the last week-and-a-half. All three were carried out by BSC motherhubbards. We knew they were coming, though. Remember in April when DHS released their report saying these kinda things were gonna happen? Remember? When they released the report, what did the tighty-righties do? They demanded a retraction, an apology and the resignation of Janet Napolitano, the head of DHS. Yo Republicans…if you wanna know why y’all are goin’ the way of the Whigs, look no further than this. They say they want to protect the citizenry, they say they want to keep America safe…and since they're politicians, you know it’s bullshit.


@:

:@

Equal Opportunity Offender

Rude

Offensive

Vile

Tasteless

Crude

Despicable

Tawdry

Sophomoric

Disrespectful

Derogatory



While y’all might not like what the aforementioned words stand for, there’s no doubt…here in the USo’A, the Constitution bestows upon us the inalienable right to be as offensive as we want to be. Don’t like it? Don’t read it. Don’t watch it. Don’t listen to it. Or better yet, move to Saudi Arabia where they execute people for that kind of stuff.


Last week some douchebag from a newspaper in the NYC published a cartoon similar to the one at the top of this posting. Holy cow! The outrage spewed out myriad pie holes faster than Ussein Bolt covering 100 meters. People wanted heads to roll, they wanted revenge, they wanted blood. Sorry guys. While we think the cartoon was a bit much…we disagree with pulling it or making the artist issue an apology. Why?


It’s simple…as soon we start censoring things that offend a certain segment of the population, where would it end?

Remember when Blacks and Whites getting married offended everyone below the Mason-Dixon line?

Remember when Elvis and the Beatles offended everyone over 30?

Remember when South Park did shows on Scientology, the LDS Church and JZeus all the while offending anyone with the faith of a mustard seed?



The crux of today’s biscuit is simple…Sticks and stones may break your bones but words, music, movies, video games, comics and cartoons will NEVER hurt you. Like Xander Cage said in XXX, “Come on, Dick... It's only education we got.”



(8.-)