Monday, June 9, 2008

Fill 'Er Up!

Damn…$4.00+ for a gallon of gas is really startin’ to get binding here in the 775. We’ve got more roads and more space between things than just about anyone in the USofA.

The upside is that parents are makin’ little Suzie and little Johnny walk to the mall instead of givin’ ‘em a ride. That’ll burn some of the fat off their asses, neh?

Expensive gas means fewer people driving. That means less traffic and less air pollution and it’s an AWESOME karma payback for those terrorist-enabling Hummer drivers!

Have you seen the new car commercials promising $2.99/gallon gas for three years if you buy one of their vehicles? We’ve done the math and if gas goes up to $15 or $20 a gallon, that $2.99 guarantee will put some folks out of business. It reminds us of McDonalds’ 1984 Olympic food giveaway. Someone in the marketing department is sweating bullets right about now!

But $4.00+ for a gallon of gas hurts three sectors in the 775 especially hard…

NEVADA ATHLETICS – With petrol being so expensive, Wolf Pack footballers won’t have enough money to afford to both drink AND drive.

NEVADA BROTHELS – the way the Silver State is set up, the only thing farther away than brothels is the planet Uranus.

HOT AUGUST NIGHTS – Yeah, we know you need a lot of money in the first place to own a classic car, but you’re gonna have to take out a second mortgage if you wanna drive that hoopty around the 775 for any length. Besides…have you seen the mileage rating for a 1929 Cord? YIKES!


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