Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Fluff Bombing

We’re gonna do a quick drive by today, so hang on…

This is a perfect example why Michael Vick can munch on our doodleberries. Man has seizure, man needs medical attention. Who calls 911? HIS DOG! Yup...and the canine with the cranium didn’t even need to call information to get the number. He’d already dialed 911 for his owner on two other occasions. They don’t call ‘em “man’s Best Friend” for nothin’.

The two states with the highest dropout rates for high schoolers? The Silver State and the Great White North. Following close behind…Mississippi, Alabama, Texas and the rest of the bass-ackward deep south. No more wondering how the hell those guys can vote Republican time and time again -- no brain pans.

Foreclosures in the 775 jumped 46% in August. People are losing their homes at an astounding rate. Hmmm…and who’s been in charge the last eight years? Tighty-righty.

It looks like the FDA has approved an “anti-nausea patch” to help people undergoing chemo. Waste. Of. Time. We already have the best nausea-killer in the world growin’ naturally. It’s called the Kind. Wanna know why ganja is illegal and the new FDA patch isn’t? ‘Cause with the chronic, Cheech and Chong get the cash with the new patch…Big Pharma gets the loot. Guess who the government-cheese is gonna side with on that one?

And finally…

Yesterday, The Invisible Man in the Sky’s Right Hand Man here on Earth said that people must accept death at “The hour chosen by God.” Screw that bub. That’s why they have Sudafed, NyQuil, Bayer Aspirin and Band Aids. If the Big Guy gets to decide…why the hell do we have House and Hawkeye and Marcus Welby? No, we will not go quietly in to that good night. Y’all gonna have to take us outta here kickin’ and screamin’. So, when You’re ready, You’d better call Your bouncers ‘cause we’re not gonna go there without a fight.


No comments: