Monday, December 1, 2008

Shoot to Thrill

Over the weekend NFL player Plaxico Burress was at a nightclub in the Big Apple where he pulled a Cheddar Bob and shot himself in the leg. Good shootin’ bro. Plax, like lots of other athletes, carries heat for “protection.” We don’t buy it.

First of all, just ‘cause Plax thinks people recognize him as a celebrity when he hits the town doesn’t make it true. There are very few athletes people could pick out of a crowd. Don’t believe it? Everyone knows who Brett Favre is and what he looks like but can you name one other person on his team? If you can’t even name another player, HTF are you gonna recognize one in a club? You probably won’t.

Second of all, why do you have to carry a gun? Aren’t you a big, bad professional football stud? Wouldn’t pepper spray work just as well? How ‘bout a Taser? Problem with a gun is, there’s no middle ground. Pop a cap in someone or not.

The thing is, jocks get special treatment at an early age. Show a propensity for math? Geek. Show an interest in science? L7. But show some athletic ability and they’ll be lickin’ yer nut sack for the duration. People make athletes into heroes and athletes believe it. Then they hit the clubs packin’ knowing full well that nothing good can come from bringin’ a piece to a party.

Rule #1… If the party needs a gun, stimulants or downers…its not a party. Remember, your pistola and ego are fickle friends…and they’ll both get you into trouble in the end.


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