Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Thought Burbles

Luther Mack has always been one of our favorite people. After all, he’s one of the few brown-skinded brothers who own businesses here in Cracker City. So when we heard that Mack and Associates is gonna sell their 11 McDonalds here in the 775, it was like finding a turd in the punch bowl. Total. Bummer. Godspeed Luther. Don't let the rednecks get you down!

The Government-Cheese over in Virginia City is worried about a proposed wind farm. In typical NIMBY fashion, Storey County Planning Commissioners said that the turbines would detract from V.C.’s charm and historic nature. Funny, this is the same place that brings tourists in with its world famous outhouse races. Hmmm…they race toilets down main street but they think a wind farm might be inappropriate. NIMBY indeed.

Much ado is being made of the swearing in ceremony at yesterday’s inauguration. Seems Chief Justice Roberts couldn’t quite remember the words. What struck home for us though was the last three words uttered by J-Rob and the ‘Bamer…”so help me God.” We looked up the oath in a little thing we like to call “THE United States Constitution” and the words “so help me God” are nowhere to be found. They just tacked that shit on to the end. You know…if JZeus’ Dad gave a rat’s ass about the USo’A, he would have done something about the smarmy chimp-dick that was in power for the last eight years. Alas, His silence was deafening.

The Taliban shows us again why the world thinks they’re BSC. Militants in western Pakistan are warning bus drivers to not play music or videos for passengers ‘cause it spreads “vulgarity and obscenity.” To paraphrase Xander Cage, “C’mon Dicks, it’s only music.” Actually, if the music was Britney Spears or the movies starred Madonna or Ben Affleck, we could see their point.

And finally today…up at THE University of Nevada, the school paper ran an editorial demanding the impeachment of Governor Jim Gibbons. Hey, we thought that was our job! Kudos to the staffers at the Sagebrush for separating the taint from the balls but take our words of wisdom…you’ve got to take a powerful piss to piss off powerful people so watch out where you’re sprayin’.


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