Friday, February 13, 2009

Here at PTB we love us some NBA All-Star weekend. No other sport compares. MLB has juiced-up ‘roid-ragers hitting candy-assed fastballs into Bolivia. Weak. The NFL barely shows up to play the week after the Super Bowl. Lame. The NHL’s all-star game? Fuggeddaboudit. No, we’ll take the NBA with its slam dunk contest and the three point shoot-out over that other crap any day. And this weekend is gonna be even more special. For the first time in NBA all-star history, they’re gonna have a game of H-O-R-S-E. YEE HAW!!!

As you probably already knew, H-O-R-S-E was invented by the Greeks as a way to end the siege of Troy back during the Trojan War. The Greeks got the victory when Ajax the Lesser sank a half-court hook shot and the Trojans couldn’t respond. Too bad all wars couldn’t be decided by a game of H-O-R-S-E. Hell, if that were the case, America would regain her place as the greatest country in the world. How? Barry's got game. He’d take out a can of whoopass on Kim Jong Il, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad or Fidel Castro. The 'Bamer is a flat-out baller. Besides, do you know how hard it is to shoot hoops dressed like a Taliban or al Qaeda? The friggin’ robes get in the way of everything. Besides, have you ever tried shooting a basketball while holding an AK-47? Not easy.

ANYWAY…we might not settle the world’s problems with a game of H-O-R-S-E (unless it's the 1977-1978 version)…but it sure beats the way we do things now. Hope y’all have a great weekend…we’ll be watchin’ hoops.


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