Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Ace Holes

Ten days away from the inaugural season of the Reno Aces AAA baseball team and the bobbleheads in charge still don’t have a clue. Aye Caramba!

Matt “the Carson Crusher” Williams, arguably the most famous baseball player to come out of the 775, was supposed to throw out the first pitch on opening day. Not anymore. Nope. Williams will be at Pac Bell Park doing a television gig. WTF is up with that? Guesting on a CSN broadcast is more important than representing your homies on opening day? Whether it’s Williams’ fault or the Diamondbacks’ fault…we’re still getting hosed. Rumor has it Reno Mayor Bob Cashell is gonna do the honors now. Wanna know what’s gonna happen? Instead of throwing out the first pitch, BCash is gonna sell the ball to the developer offering the most money. Then he’ll try to build a housing development on it.

Speaking of Mayor Cashell…seems the doddering old fool has just now realized that there are quite a few homeless people in close proximity to the new stadium. And now he wants ‘em moved out of sight and out of mind. SHEESH! WTF have you been doing for the last year Mr. Mayor? Did this just now come to your attention or did you think you could keep it a secret? Wonder how the downtown baseball experience is gonna be for families having to walk through the hobos and the crack ho’s and the winos to get to the game? “Look mommie, that creepy old drunk is waving his doodle at us!” BobCash and his cronies cannot be out of office soon enough.

And finally…have you looked at the weather outside lately? It’s so fucking windy and cold out there that yesterday we saw a flock of penguins huddled around a space heater. Back in the day, the San Francisco Giants played ball at Candlestick Park. Everyone hated it ‘cause the wind only stopped blowing long enough for it to start raining and snowing. Players and fans alike HATED the place. Do you think it’s gonna be any better here in the 775? No way. Anyone living here for a spell can remember it snowing on the Fourth of July. Brrrrr! How many butts are gonna be in seats when that happens? Not nearly enough. So enjoy baseball here in town while you can folks. It won’t be here for long. Then we can go back to our summer of skiing and ice skating.


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