Monday, April 13, 2009

No News is Bad News

It’s no secret that the dead tree versions of newspapers are in trouble. Readership has been on the downslide for quite some time. Maybe it’s ‘cause the government-cheese has cut so much from the education budget that there aren’t many folks out there who even know how to read anymore. But that’s the crux of another biscuit.

To regain revenue and readership, newspaper editors and publishers are pulling out all the stops. Over the weekend, the RGJ announced two big changes. The first was the return of Corey Farley. If y’all don’t remember Corey Farley, his column was a lot like PTB except he never cursed, he never threatened bodily harm and he never used the word “motherhubbards.” Aside from that…he’s pretty close. Here’s hoping Farley still has his biting commentary. Our thought is that corporate douchebags will keep him watered down so as not to cheese off the few advertisers still spending money on newspapers. Good writing sells newspapers…great writing scares the bejeezus out of advertisers. Only time will tell.

The second new doohickey unveiled at the RGJ is the “Sunday Good News Edition.” To that we said, “Aye Caramba!” The powers that be at the RGJ must’ve figured that a butt-load of feel-good stories would sell product. That may be so but we’re not buying into it. Why? Well, to be honest, misery loves company. Hell, for us here at PTB, misery is less like company and more like family.

With all the crap going on in the world with wars and the economy and terrorists and BSC motherhubbards and myriad other problems, we’d feel disingenuous turning our attention to “softer” stories. Who wants to read about Grandma Myrtle turning 100 years old when the poop is hitting the propeller all around us? Death, destruction and mayhem on a daily basis are stark reminders that there’s a lot of work still to be done. So keep on coming back here to PTB for your daily dose of depressing reality. We’ll keep up the pissin’ and moanin’ and complainin’ and leave the good news to the RGJ. Good luck with that.


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