Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Kissin' Asses for Votes

Skeevy Uncle Fester is in town today tryin’ to convince voters in the 775 he should be the next President. Good move actually. Ya see, this here part of the Silver State is redder than the ass-cheek of a ripe tomato. We’ve said it before…the only congressional district that was MORE pro-WPE is that creepy one in northern Mississippi where the most common relation is uncle-dad, cousin-grandpa and auntie-mom.

Now, we could ask Oldie McAncient all sorts of questions like “What’s the difference between Sunni and Shiite?” “How can tax cuts for the rich help the middle-class?” And our personal favorite…”So, how IS that surge a-workin’?” Problem is, Grandpa McDinosaur doesn’t have answers to those questions.

But seein’ how Geezer McAged is droppin’ by…we wanna ask him about something close to all of our hearts: Yucca Mountain. You might remember that Congress is trying to ram a nuookuler toilet down our pie holes and Senator McObsolete was all for it. The operational word there being “WAS.” Turns out the good Senator from the AZ has flip-flopped quicker than a pancake on a griddle.

So, we’ve gotta ask: “Yo JMac…if you were for sticking Nevada with the nuke dump before you decided to run for president, now you say you’re against it…how can we believe you? And what the hell else are you gonna flip-flop on just to get a couple of votes?

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