Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Grinding Organs

Religion…BAH! It was thirty years ago today that a BSC freak named the Reverend Jim Jones urged his followers to commit mass suicide. The dumbass thought he was JZeus. Many followed orders and offed themselves. The ones who refused got popped. Nine hundred people…dead. Religion? You can have it.

Over the weekend another soldier from the 775 died in the Suck. How many heroes need to be sacrificed before we get the hell outta there? Put it to you this way…if you think the new President’s top priority should be the economy or the environment or healthcare instead of ending the wars…you’re a selfish, un-American, rat-bastard.

Turns out the Brits are in dire need of…wait for it…wait for it…SPERM DONORS! Seems that the new law taking away a donor’s anonymity is keepin’ the Queen’s finest from stepping up and helpin’ out the ladies. We’ve always been big fans of the British so we’re gonna go out on a limb here. If any of y’all British women need a sperm donor and can’t find one…just give us a holler. We’ll show you how it’s done!

And finally…a new report out says that same-sex heart transplants are better for patients than transplants from the opposite sex. Aye Caramba! Let’s get this straight (pun intended)…if two men swap organs, it’s O.K. but if they swap wedding vows or bodily fluids, JZeus’s Dad will be really cheezed-off. How the hell did we get to this place in our world?


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