Monday, January 26, 2009

Random Acts of WTF's

We’ve got a state bird, a state fossil and a state flower…now fourth graders from around the NV are gonna get the chance to pick the state insect. Well, we’re gonna save the little shavers time and gray matter. Nevada’s state insect should be the Mormon Cricket. When the MC’s hatch, the ugly rat-bastards are everywhere. Any other insect just wouldn’t do us justice.

Governor Jim Gibbons cut academic funding for higher education by fifty percent while college athletics got a three percent raise. Someone tell GJG that we want him to take a pee test. Seriously, WTF is he smoking? In the last three years the football team is 21-18 overall, 0-3 in bowl games, 0-3 against Boise St., 0-3 against Hawaii, 1-2 against Fresno St. and 1-5 against BCS teams. Two years ago, the basketball team lost in the first round of the NCAA Tournament to friggin’ MONTANA. Last year, the Pack didn’t make the NCAA, the NIT or any other post-season tournament. The baseball team hasn’t sniffed the post-season in a long time and no other sport on campus even gets a blip of publicity. Those are statistics for giving MORE money to athletics? Those should be the statistics that have Athletic Director Cary Groth working at the drive-thru.

And finally…State Senator Bob Coffin has suggested we look into legalizing prostitution throughout the Silver State. Longtime readers of PTB know we’ve been calling for legalizing ‘tutes since the beginning. If an 18-year-old male can sell his body to the NBA or MLB or the NFL…why shouldn’t an 18-year-old female be able to sell her body to the Moonlite Bunny Ranch's Vegas facility? And don’t start with all that biblical, moral majority, holier-than-thou bullshit. There were enough whores in the bible to float a battleship. Didn’t seem to matter much back then…why should it matter now?

BTW…State Senator Bob Coffin has one of the coolest names in the Nevada State Legislature. He probably gets a lot of shit around Halloween though. Yay, Senator Bob!


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