Tuesday, June 2, 2009

He Doesn't Know Dick

Dr. Evil has been in the news a lot lately. Funny thing coming from the brotherhubbard that had Google Earth blur out his house for eight years. But like it or not, Dick Cheney is flappin’ his lie-hole and the whole world seems to be listening.

Yesterday, the former Veep took to the airwaves to…get this…defend gay marriage. Aye caramba! WTF did that come from? While he does have a gay daughter, Dick and his compatriots in the Bush administration never were the types to embrace those “afflicted with the Gay.” Guess times they are a changin’. But not that much. You see, Cheney had a caveat to his assertion that gay peeps should be allowed to get hitched. He said that marriage is, and always has been a state issue. "And I think that's the way it ought to be handled today, that is, on a state-by-state basis.” And that’s why Dick Cheney, in our humble opinion, is dumber than a sack of doorknobs.

It wasn’t that long ago that blacks couldn’t get married in certain states ‘cause they were considered “property.” An even shorter time ago, blacks and whites were not allowed to get married to each other in certain states because some racist rat-bastards thought it was immoral. Hell, if Alabama, Mississippi and the rest of the redneck, huckleberry states had their way, blacks still wouldn’t be allowed to marry.

No Dick…gay marriage shouldn’t be decided willy-nilly on the whim of some cracker-ass government-cheese dick in a state where the most common kinfolk is “Uncle-Dad.” This is America. We’re not supposed to roll like that. So we’re gonna toss you a soft one. Remember the Declaration of Independence?

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.”

That’s right Dick. Straight from the pen of TJ hisself. ALL men are created equal…that includes the men who like men, women who like women and all the peeps in between who love ‘em both. That's how we roll.


1 comment:

dave allen said...

Since the beginning of human history, marriage has been defined as the union of a man and a woman. While homosexuals have also been around since the beginning of human history, they have NEVER had the right to be married. Further - there is no absolute right to marriage for anyone. You are not allowed to marry your Mother - or your sister... you're not allowed to have multiple wives, or husbands. So why is this?? Because marriage is about procreation.. the creation of a stable union for children to be born and raised, and for property to be passed from generation to generation in a clear line of succession. Those born outside of wedlock where not given the same entitlements as those who were.
While gays should be able to pass property along the same as anyone else - be allowed to have whomever they want to be able to visit them in the hospital - they don't have to hijack marriage to be able to do so. Whomever is allowed to visit a patient should be up to the patient and not the government. The government really shouldn't be in the business of marriage - they should stick to the aspects civil unions and of contract laws for the purposes of defining terms of the union and property distribution in the case of divorce. Marriage should stay where it's always been with the various religions.