Thursday, August 27, 2009
If the FDA and the Government-Cheese have their way, buying cigarettes is gonna scare the bejeezus outta people. There’s a study out that found placing graphic images on cigarette packaging makes people less likely to buy ‘em. Graphic images like black lungs, gangrenous feet, people breathing out of stomas and dead babies are a few of the pics they’re gonna use to keep people from using tobacco products. Now, I’m not really in favor of that idea. After all, tobacco is a legal product here in the USo’A. But if the Government-Cheese wants to show people the deadly evils that come with smoking, I think they should expand the whole thing.
1. From now on, there should be graphic images of mutilated bodies and corpses lying on the side of the road in every car commercial.
2. Every bag of fast food sold in America should be required to have a picture of one of those morbidly obese people – naked!
3. Every alcoholic beverage should be labeled with the phrase “You ARE the father!”
4. Politicians must all get the word “LIAR” tattooed on their foreheads.
5. Cannabis clubs in California should have to sell their weed in baggies that look like little bags of Doritos.
6. High school diplomas must include an application to work at the nearest McDonald’s drive-thru.
7. And finally…every church in American must prominently display a picture – not a painting or a statue but a real-life photograph of their God. Of course, you wouldn’t see anything so they have to include the phrase “What Your Money Buys” underneath.