Friday, January 15, 2010

Pat That Ass

Poor fuckin’ Haiti. SHEESH. Talk about gettin’ kicked when you’re down. YOW! A couple of things are bothering me about this situation…

Did you know that when you make a Haiti relief donation with your credit card that American Express, Visa and Master card are gonna take three percent right off the top as a “transaction fee?” Aye caramba! A computer makes the money transfer automatically and these ass-wipes charge three percent. They’re gonna make millions off of this natural disaster. Those bourgie rat-bastard moneychangers have a special place in Hell waiting for ‘em. True dat.

Speaking of special places in Hell….Pat Robertson is in the news again. Now y’all might be sayin’ to yourselves, “Pat Robertson isn’t takin’ a dirt nap yet?” Nope. Robertson, yappin’ on his T.V. show, said that Haiti got popped by God because they’d made a deal with the Devil. WTF is up with that?

Question #1: Let’s say Pat Robertson is right (HAW!)…If Haiti made a deal with the Devil, why didn’t Beelzebub hold up His end of the bargain? If Robertson is right (another HAW!) how come the Invisible Man in the Sky didn’t pull a Sodom and Gomorah on ‘em?

And question #2: If Robertson is wrong (yeah…IF)…why aren’t all the REAL Christians in the world calling for his head on a platter? Robertson seems to open his lie-hole every time something bad happens and the only thing that comes out is hateful, bullshit. Hey Christians…your leader is flappin’ his yap again and makin’ y’all look like racist, xenophobic, hate-mongers. Problem is…y’all (or most of y’all, anyway) ARE hate-filled, petty and racist. You’re all just too blind to see it. Now you can imagine why Christians were burned at the stake and fed to the lions…y’all deserve it. Well, at least Pat Robertson does. Jzeus mush be spinning in His grave.



adam mclane said...

Well, since you hotlinked a picture to this post from my blog... I feel like I can put in my $.02. First, I'm a Christian and Pat Robertson doesn't speak for me. So please don't lump me in with him. Actually, most Christians think he's a jackass too. We've all got people in our families like him, right? Second, Christians (and darn near everyone on the planet) is willing to acknowledge that Jesus isn't in a grave. Actually, that's the general premise of Christianity! He's not there. If he were there, there would be no Christianity for Pat Robertson to defile with his idiot mouth.

pj Connolly said...

First of all let me thank you for letting me hotlink a pic from your blog. It's bloggers like you (and me) that make it fun and exciting and informational here in Cyberia.

The crux of my biscuit was that I never hear Christians stepping up and telling people like Pat Robertson and his ilk to STFU. So I feel it is my responsibility to do so. Yes, we all have people in our families like him and every Thanksgiving and Christmas and at reunions I seem to be the only one to speak up and tell 'em they're douchebags.

In defense of Christianity, I don't ever hear moderate Muslims stepping up and speaking knowledge to power. Maybe that's why I am not a religious person, I'd be kicked out every time I opened my pie-hole in protest.

As far as the "spinning in His grave" line. I've used thayt for years and you're the first Christian that noticed the dichotomy of the meaning. HUZZAH to you sir!

In closing, thanks for reading PTB (if only for this one time) and a VERY big thank you for commenting. If more Christians were like you, maybe the United States wouldn't be vilified around the world for our actions and we could act more like a Christian nation rather than a nation of Pat Robertsons, Sarah Palins and Dick Cheneys.

pj Connolly don't need $.02 to tell us what you're thinkin' my man...just an attitude and a keyboard. True dat.

adam mclane said...

Awesome. And yes, I love me some hotlinking too. So you give a little, ya take a little. And we all just make the world more fun.

There are plenty of Christians upset about Pat Robertson. Here's a twitter search for the hashtag #patrobertsondoesntspeakforme

Donald Miller, a voice for progressive evangelicals (and NYT best selling author) like myself, pretty much summed up how most people I know feel.

I could add a bunch of jackass pastors to the list of people who don't speak for me.
- James Dobson tops that list. I wish he'd focus on his own family a bit more and leave mine alone.
- Benny Hinn and all his fellow money changer friends on TV. Pretty sure the call to the Christian life is the opposite of the crap they preach.

Hey, I'm happy to rant wherever! Thanks for letting me hang out. Now that I've got you in my Google reader you may be stuck with me for a bit.

pj Connolly said...

Makin’ the world a little more fun? Heck-fire Adam, I’m betting you’re a glass half-full kinda guy, neh? Well…let’s see what we can do.

My problem is…the TV station I work for airs Kenneth Copeland and Joyce Meyers every day. YIKES! I never understood the prosperity doctrine. It goes against all I was taught (growin’ up Christian). So how come Pat Robertson, Dobson, Hinn and these other chucklenuts have such a HUGE following? I don’t understand.

I’ll check out your links. Maybe real Christians do exist. I surely hope so. We need ‘em. True dat.

pj Connolly
Reno, NV

BTW…stuck with you? I’d rather spend eternity with someone intelligent than spend a minute with an idiot. True dat.

Brenda said...

Benny Hinn, Pat Robertson, James Dobson and the likes have stripped my 80-plus year old aunt from all her money! She watches and BELIEVES that if she sends them money, she will be rewarded "three-fold" like they tell her!

adam McLane said...

I just wanted to follow up and let you know I'm in Haiti right now with Christians who aren't asses. There are plenty of good peeps doing great stuff. I hope you get to meet some church leaders who aren't afraid to call other guys dickheads when they are dickheads.

pj Connolly said... being in Haiti and helping out the Haitian people warms my heart. You truly shine with the Christian spirit. Too bad the only time people get in the news for being Christian is when they're being bad Christians.

Keep up the good work my friend. There is a special place in heaven for people like you.