Regular readers of PTB know just how much credence I put in the Bible. Zero. C’mon, a book written by old white dudes trying to pass it off as the Word of God is ridiculous. That being said, a lot of people believe the Bible came, word-for-word, straight outta the mouth of the Invisible Man in the Sky. Every Commandment, every fable, every damned word…authored by JZeus or His Dad.
It seems the more zealous a person’s religious beliefs, the more likely he/she is to believe the earth is only 10,000 years old, Jonah, in fact, was swallowed by a whale, Noah pulled a Jessica Watson and sailed ‘round the world with two of everything and that President Obama is the Antichrist. They say, “It’s right there in the Bible” and they’d be right. There is a lot of ambiguity in the Bible. But now a group of conservatives has figured that the WoG is, get this, too liberal. Aye caramba!
The Conservative Bible project is intending to reword progressive parts of the Bible (love thy neighbor, do unto others, turn the other cheek…you know, the pussy stuff) to make it more conservative. You can bet your ass that the fire and brimstone quotient is gonna be through the roof. I see an increase in plagues and locusts and bloody rivers. And you can bet your ass gayness will get you a ticket straight to Hell. But here’s the crux of today’s biscuit: If the Bible is the Word of God, what gives these chucklenuts the right to change it? And if the Bible was written by and can be changed by mere mortals, why the fuck would anyone believe it? Hear that sound? It’s JZeus spinning in His grave.