Sausage Factory

So…the powers-that-be here in Nevada have given the O.K. to open up the first-ever, all-male brothel. Aye caramba!

Almost every dude I talk to says he wants to apply for a job there. Do y’all think I should break the news to ‘em that 99.9% of the customers at this “Dude Ranch” are gonna be other dudes and that the 0.1% of the customers that are women are gonna be hella nasty? Yeah, you’re right. Better they find out for themselves.

Maybe the "Fruit of the Boom" guy can get a job there after he gets outta jail, since his bomb didn’t go off and blow his junk to smithereens. Just a thought.

@:
:@

One for the Weekend

Well...the first weekend of the new decade is upon us. That deserves a rockin' song. Enjoy.



@:
:@

Double Jeopardy

You might have never heard of Tsutomu Yamaguchi. To some…he’s the luckiest man in the world. To others…the unluckiest man in the world. You see, Yamaguchi was the only certified survivor of the atomic bombings of both Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Talk about a pretty fucked up week. Aye caramba!

Yamaguchi died Tuesday. He was 93 years old. So, in his honor…a PTB haiku. Sleep well brother.

Kill men to save men.

BA-BOOM and the people die.

Were we really saved?

Twas death from above.

Where was God in all of this?

Spinning in His grave.

Death is the silence.

The cycle of violence.

Now they rest in peace.

War and death still live.

Have we learned from history?

Not a goddamned thing.

@:
:@

No One Listens

Like a parrot in a picture window...



I can see where I'd like to be.



But repeated blows to my feathered little head...



Have taught me not to fly straight.




@:
:@

Happy New Decade

We wanna welcome in the '10s on a positive note. I know, I know...who kidnapped pj and replaced him with a pod person? HAW! This one is for all y'all stuck in the middle of a cold-assed snowy winter. No worries...springtime is on the way. Enjoy.

@:
:@

Out With the Old and In With the New...PLEASE!

The 00’s rolled in with the Republicans bitching and moaning about hanging chads and how their boy the Bush-Wipe won. Stormin’ the Florida recount like they were Uncle Adolph’s jackbooted thugs.

And now the 10’s roll in and it’s pretty much the same.

Tighty-righties whining and complaining about death panels and Kenyan birth certificates and hijacking town hall meetings like…well, like Uncle Adolph’s jackbooted thugs. SHEESH!

I was gonna spend lots and Lots and LOTS of time today rambling on about what a mess Chimp-Dick made out of things but I wanna keep things light. Today, I just wanna kick this fucked up decade to the curb and start a new one. After all, it can't be as bad as the last one. Can it?

@:
:@

Up Up and Away

It never ceases to amaze me what dumb-assed pussies Americans are. As you know, earlier this week, some BSC motherhubbard tried to set off an explosive device in his pants while he was flying to Detroit. Aye caramba, dude. Talk about one painful brit milah. No worries, though. Passengers on the plane saw what was happening and gave the rat-bastard the American version of the Glasgow kiss. They shoulda tossed him out the door but, instead, they detained him ‘til landing. The dude got perp-walked and now he’s in the Gray Bar Motel.

Tighty-righties, tinfoil hat wearin’ loonies and teabaggers alike had collective conniptions. “Obama is soft on terror,” they said. “We need more security at airports,” they whined. And on…and on…and on. Here’s what they don’t get: Airplanes, in the first place, aren’t totally safe. If God had wanted man to fly, he’d have given him some sort of wing-like appendage. Secondly, airports and airplanes should be the least of our worries. Why?

Americans have this pompous sense of superiority over peoples of other nations. “We’re smarter, we’re better, and by golly, we love ourselves,” we say. And that’s the problem. While Dick “Dr. Evil” Cheney and Tom “Over the” Ridge and their ilk piss and moan about airport security, the REAL terrorists are planning their next attack and it isn’t gonna be in an airport or on a plane. Too much security…too much hassle….been there, done that. No, terrorists hit you where you’re most vulnerable and when you least expect it. That’s why they call it terrorism.

So, while republican hacks try to score points with the voting public by vilifying Janet Napolitano and Barry-O and scaring the bejeezus out of the flying American public, the bad guys are gonna pop us while we’re not looking. It might be in a shopping mall, it might be on a bus or a train. But it won't be at an airport…because that’s exactly where we expect them to be. SHEESH! Americans…we think we’re so smart. Too bad we’re not.

@:
:@