Wednesday, April 22, 2009


It’s a special time of year for us here at PTB…Earth Day. The one day of the year that Americans try to assuage their guilt for driving terrorist Hummers, poppin’ innocents with depleted uranium ammo and basically crapping all over the planet.

Yep, every April 22nd, our thoughts drift to an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. No, not the Hawaii, or Tahiti, or Rapa Nui-type island. We’re talkin’ ‘bout an island, twice the size of Texas that you won’t find in any travel brochure. That’s because made out of plastic garbage. It’s called the Pacific Trash Vortex and it floats right between California and Hawaii. Not only is the PTV icky-gross, it’s lethal.

See, plastic isn’t biodegradable. That means when the crap in the PTV breaks down, it stays…well…plastic. Once the particles break down small enough, all sorts of critters gobble ‘em up. It’s the marine animal equivalent of eating lead paint chips. So, all sorts of animals die from ingesting PTV-related crap. The ones that don’t carry the poison around in their systems ‘til they get eaten – either by other animals or by human animals.

So, on that note, Happy Earth Day! And if you’ve ever wondered why your tuna sandwich, your lobster Newberg or your escargot milkshake has that funky taste…you’ll know why.


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